1.Of
course women misunderstand men! In fact, that's the reason women think we are so
good... because they don't understand us! Most of us are rogues,
really.
2.
In a man's fantasy, there is very little decency. I'm not trying to be
sensational; it's a fact. Most women are innocent and don't understand what kind
of dirty mind a man has. Most probably he's mentally stripping her naked while
he's chatting her up at a party. Most men, I am afraid, are dormant
rapists.
3.Male
chauvinism stems from the way a man has been brought up. I am so sorry and sad
that it even comes, constantly and sometimes unwittingly, from his mother. The
boy child is made to believe that he is the centre of the universe and that the
girl child is like a satellite, whose job is to revolve around him. This is
perpetrated in his mind by the entire society - both at home and
outside.
4.A man thinks that his possessiveness and domination are proof of his
tremendous love. And the woman is made to believe, 'If he is jealous, it means
that he cares for you'. In fact, she should get rid of such illusions, and such
a man. Men who love women this way don't differentiate between their car, their
furniture, their cattle and their women. Such men should not be allowed anywhere
close to you. A love, which is devoid of respect, is not love.
5.
A man takes advantage of a woman who loves him, because, when women fall in love
they become docile and say, 'I am a woman, I care and I give and give'. This is
nonsense. Get rid of these notions. They have been imposed on you by society to
exploit you.
6.You
women should understand men and put them in their place. You have been socially
conditioned by society to make it a man's world and boost his ego from the time
he has been a child. You don't understand us; that's your problem. You have to
make your terms and conditions very clear. If after that, love prevails, then
that's a very good thing.
7.Women
must make it very clear from the beginning that a certain territory belongs to
them and that they can't surrender their individuality and their space - be it
their work, their relationships or their friendships.
8.Women
should stop treating marriage or relationships as the end of their lives. A
relationship or a marriage can be an extremely important part of your life. But
however important, it is only a 'part'. You too, should have a life of your own
like men do.
9.Marriage
should be an equal partnership between the woman and the man. But let's
understand the meaning of equality - it shouldn't be like 'If you will do this,
I will do this'. Never. It should be more like, 'Sometimes you listen to me and
sometimes, I listen to you. Sometimes you adjust for me and sometimes, I adjust
for you'. However, basic fundas should not be compromised.
10.At
the cost of being obvious, let me say, come what may, a woman should refuse to
get married where there is any dowry involved. Under no circumstances, should a
woman live in a marriage that has any kind of violence - physical or mental. She
should not be afraid of walking out because nothing can be worse than a violent
marriage.
11.What
women need and what women appreciate most are sensitivity, appreciation and
consideration and for men to get off the pedestal of He-Man, Cave Man and accept
the simple fact that women are human beings.
12.I have great respect for men who are not chauvinistic.To be fair, there ARE
men who are not so and with time, more and more men are changing - some
willingly, many reluctantly but most have yet to join the process. But this
change is inevitable. It is the responsibility of all sensible people - men and
women - to expedite this process.
Femina Archives
2006
