You 'N' Me, Baby - Femina

The party season is here, and so are opportunities to meet some really fun people. We asked around and here are some cool and some not-so-hot conversation starters that our survey served up...

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"I think the best approach is to be honest... of course, I was honest only after my plan crashed on me and I didn't have a choice but to be honest. Here's what happened. I'm at this party... and I see this cool chick with a cigarette standing close by. I get a cigarette from my pack, and go up to her confidently (swaggering, actually) and ask her for a light. She looks at me and says, 'I don't smoke; I'm just holding on to this one for my friend... she's in the loo.' She stared me right in the face and then looked away, waiting for me to leave. My confidence was shaken and my 'hip' exterior crumbled. But I really liked her, and because I could think of no quick fib or witty remark, sheepishly said, "I do have a light, I just wanted some reason to come and say hi, that's all..." What do you know... she liked that! I was back in the game! She did smoke, by the way... she was just screening."

Sagar, USA

Unintentional Humour

"I was once approached by a guy in a club. He was a very cute chap. He comes up to me and says, 'When I saw you from afar, I thought you were an angel... now that I've seen you up close, I realise I was right.' That was it! I started laughing right there and the poor guy got totally embarrassed. Okay, I probably missed out on meeting a cute guy, but come on, that was one of the corniest lines I have EVER heard!"

Nydia, Mumbai

Damsel In Distress

"This one is nice and simple. I was at a popular nightclub with my friends, when I spotted a beautiful woman struggling to get someone to wait on her at the unbelievably crowded bar. I went to her and asked her if she needed any help. I moved through the crowd, maneuvering my way through and bought her a drink. She was most grateful and was about to pay me back when I said, 'No, no, that's all right. The next one's on you...' And you know what... it was!"

Manoj, Mumbai

Yuck! Puh-lease!

"At this New Year's Eve party in Goa, I was standing at the bar and having drinks with my friends. This guy (quite cute but totally sloshed) comes up behind me and says, 'Hey beautiful, I can get you high even without that drink you're downing. You interested?' I actually shudder at the memory. I mean, who says that? Ugh!"

Pooja, Mumbai

Royal Extravaganza

"We (three guys) were at this bar in Johannesburg. We were just having a good time when we spotted three women sitting nearby. We sent over three bottles of wine. But nothing happened. Anyway, after dinner we went to the bar (it was another room) and occupied the last available table. When the three women walked in and found no place to sit, we asked them to join us. They thanked us profusely for the favour so we told them they owed us a conversation and a dance. So we got talking and realised that though they were Indians, they had lived in Johannesburg all their lives and hence knew absolutely nothing about India. Well, things got really interesting after that. We told them that we were the grandchildren of the Maharaja of Udaipur. They were very impressed. We invited them to our 'palace' for a visit some time where they would receive red carpet treatment. They were very taken with our outrageous lies. We gave them fake names and addresses and what do you know, two of us even got some action that night!"

Arjun, 'The Maharaja Of Udaipur'

Duh!

"One guy came up to me at a club and asked me, 'Do you crochet?' I stared blankly at him, certain I hadn't heard him right. So he asked again, 'Do you crochet?' I said 'No', confused. Apparently he was a hand expert of some sort and could make out from a person's hands what their hobbies or professions were. Well, I don't know if he was telling me the truth 'cos he was totally inaccurate in my case and the whole looking-at-everybody's-hands-all-the-time thing kind of

freaked me out."

Shalini, Mumbai

Cleopatra Rocks!

"I am embarrassed as hell about this one. But do remember, I was 19 and had had loads to drink! I was at a party. I don't quite remember what the theme was, but for some reason, I had applied eyeliner all the way out like Cleopatra. Anyway, my friend introduced me to this guy called Anthony. I said 'Hi' and ran off (I usually run everywhere when I'm drunk) and then it hit me in my drunken haze - his name was Anthony and I was Cleopatra! So, I ran back to him and happily informed him (and about five times during the party thereafter) 'I'm Cleopatra and you're Anthony!' I don't know what I was thinking... but this worked for me. He came up to me later and I ended up sharing my first kiss with him!"

Simran, Pune

Smoothie

"I hate guys who start their conversations with 'Hi, I'm so and so'. I'd much rather they found a topic to talk about (NOT the weather) and then introduce themselves. I was at this office party and was standing and sipping my drink, when this guy from another department came up and stood next to me. After two minutes, he leaned over and asked, 'Do you know the DJ?'The DJ was some guy from our organisation but I didn't know him so I said so. He smiled and said, 'Good. 'Cos that is some seriously appalling music!' It really was and I burst out laughing. We started talking about what kind of music we liked and then he introduced himself. We totally hit it off!"

Anu, Bangalore

Loser Lines

He says: You have a very interesting face.

She's thinking: What's that supposed to mean? Isn't that what people say when they're being kind to ugly people?

He says: Can I buy you a drink?

She's thinking: Hello! An original line, please! There must be a distinction between a pick-up line and a conversation starter.

He says: Hi, I'm Cookie. (Enough said)

She's thinking: (Nothing really. She's just trying to fight an uncontrollable urge to laugh and say, 'Hi I'm Milk'. Look, if you're unfortunate enough to be stuck with that name, try and be original, take your cues from this piece and make up an awesome line).

He says: I may not be the best-looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

She's thinking: Hit him. Hit him now!

He says: Basically... I'm a computer software analyst specialising in records management.

She's thinking: YAWN! Ooh, look at that hottie behind this nerd! (Anyone who starts a conversation with 'basically' is a complete no).