My parents were
quite conservative and did not encourage my love for singing since they believed
it wasn't the right profession for a girl from a good family. (They were always
a little suspicious about the film industry since the only person they knew from
the industry was a guy who had thrown away his life to drink!). In fact, it was
my father-in-law who had great faith in my abilities. My husband was already
assisting S D Burmanda. Once, he recorded a Sanskrit 'shloka' in my voice to get
the tune approved from Burmanda, who liked my voice so much he retained it on
the final soundtrack of 'Abhimaan'. A lot of people to date are surprised to
learn that that voice wasn't Lata's!
Maturity
comes at a cost
My husband
(Arun Paudwal) was not the kind of person to promote his wife (that would have
really helped!) because he was already well established in the field of music
direction. In fact, it was quite the contrary. He would criticise me so much and
pick so many faults that I would be petrified of singing in his presence. I
would have trouble finding my voice if I saw him in the recording room. I knew
that if I were to slip up even a little, I would have to hear about it all the
way home! In that sense, I could not ever become a 'professional' while he was
around... Strangely enough, after I lost him to a prolonged illness,
professional maturity came to me automatically. It was practically thrust upon
me. I did not have the luxury of being criticised by a husband who cared. I had
to be my own critic and learn to deliver the
goods.
Family
support can make or break a woman's
career
I was married into a
joint family. Not once, ever, did my in-laws resent my time spent away from the
family and kids. If there was a recording, no matter what the time or place,
there was never a question of not attending it. In fact, on the 13th day after
my father-in-law passed away I had to attend a recording, and my mother-in-law
made sure I went for it. I can't imagine any typical Indian family being as
supportive...
You
have to move on...
After I
lost my husband, I lost the will to sing. In fact, for a long time, I did not
sing at all. But I knew I had to move on. After all, I had two young children to
support. I signed a contract with T-series to sing exclusively for them. In
hindsight, this was probably a mistake since T-series gradually stopped doing
films and as a result, I dropped out of the playback singing scene altogether.
It was only devotional music for me... of course I enjoyed that very
much...
Talent
can survive any generational shift in taste and
style
The music industry has
changed a lot since the last time I sang for films. While earlier, it was
difficult for even talented singers to get a break, today anybody and everybody
can sing or make a video. Music direction too, has become so much more
digitalised. Yet, I believe real talent survives no matter what the environment.
The upside is that a lot of good talent is coming into the industry because of
so many more opportunities.
Femina Archives
2006
