Nitya Alwani-Satyani's rules for that all-important first date...

Landed yourself a nice, cool fellow to out with? But you have nothing to wear, you don't know where to go, how to behave, you don't know what to talk about... wait, wait, don't freak out. Learn from the experts and follow these tips until you get 'em right.

Dos And Don'ts For A First Date
Be open-minded. Don't expect too much from a first date and you won't be disappointed. Just go out with the idea of having fun and let destiny do the rest.

Take care of the way you dress. Find out in advance where you will be going, so you don't end up bowling in a little black strappy number. Wear something you're comfortable in. First dates are uncomfortable enough without having to worry about pulling down the hem of your skirt or sucking in your tummy till you turn blue.

Alcohol is avoidable, unless you're too uptight and need a glass of wine to relax. Do not get drunk and have him holding your hair back while you throw up.

If asked to choose a venue, pick some place that isn't too expensive, just in case he doesn't let you pay. You don't want to come across as too high-maintenance. If ordering for both, consider his preferences. Is he vegetarian or non-vegetarian? Avoid ordering sloppy food, so burgers with extra mayo dribbling down your chin are definitely out.

Do offer to pay. It's the 21st century and we have truly confused men by lecturing them on women's liberation and our right to equality. But for some reason, the only thing we have actually accomplished is the death of chivalry. Split the bill. Besides, you won't be obliged to meet him again, just in case you don't want to. Tip: If you like him, but aren't sure of his response, let him pay and invite him out to dinner another time. It's a great way of ensuring a second date!

Keep conversation on your cell phone to a minimum. It's awfully rude to ignore your date and call or message your friends.

Keep yourself up-to-date. Not just about current affairs, although that can't hurt, but more importantly about your date. If you have common friends, ask for a little background on him. Tip: Do not reveal to him that you've asked about him. It's a bit creepy to know that someone's been snooping into your past. So if he says, "I've just gotten out of a four-year relationship," resist the urge to say, "I know".

Before going on the date, think of things to say to him - funny stories, questions, some general subjects you can discuss - in case you run out of things to say to each other. Those long silences can be most uncomfortable.

Keep the conversation casual and impersonal. Avoid divulging too much information about yourself and your past. Don't discuss anything controversial - strong views on religion, joint families, marriage, etc. Steer clear of the 'M' word.

A monologue is not a conversation. A good conversationalist is one who listens more than she speaks. Ask him about himself - it'll put him at ease and you'll get to know more about him. If you find you're not interested in seeing him ever again, stick to talking about the weather and the political situation.

Find out more about his friends. That will tell you a lot about him. If most of his friends are married, chances are he's looking to settle down as well.

Watch for how he treats people around him - waiters, beggars, or anyone less fortunate than he. He might be polite to you now but chances are that if he's basically not a decent person, it'll show. Pay attention to how he talks about his mother and women in general. Notice how attentive he is when you talk about what you do.

Trust your instincts. A woman's intuition is almost always accurate, so if you get a weird vibe, then don't promise a second date.

Give him the benefit of the doubt. If you're put off simply because he's too quiet, give him another chance. First dates can be a little strained and uncomfortable as both of you are a bit conscious. Once he gets to know you better, he might relax and be more himself, which could be fun.

Ending a date does not always have to be awkward. You don't owe him anything so if you do decide to hold hands or kiss, it should be because you like him enough to. Else, a casual wave and a "Call me some time" are just fine. Tip: If you never want to see him again, let him know. He won't keep hoping and it'll be easier on your conscience as well.

Be yourself. Tell yourself it's just like going out with a friend. After all, he's only human so ease those butterflies. Enjoy.


Where To Go
• A trip to the national park: Go on a nature trail. Only if both of are environmentally inclined, of course.
• A movie or a play: Watch something light and fun. No heavy stuff that makes you want to go home with a headache right after.
• Museum, art gallery, exhibitions: Have some stimulating conversation followed by lunch/dinner.
• Restaurant: The most popular date preference.
• Walk on the beach: Very romantic. Be safe - don't go too late at night.
• An amusement park: Scream, yell, have a blast!

Cardinal Laws Of First Dates
• Meet in a public place the first time.
Tip: Pick a place that is lively, but stay away from very crowded or noisy joints. A restaurant would do.
• Do not dress too sexy.
Tip: If you're wearing a short skirt, avoid wearing a short top as well. That way you look great and don't give out 'come hither' vibes either.
• Pre-plan an exit.
Tip: Arrange for a friend to call you one hour into the date so if needed, you can excuse yourself for an 'emergency'.
• Always inform friends and, if possible, a family member who you're going with and where you'll be.
• Keep your options open.Tip: Choose to meet your date directly at the venue, so you can leave just in case the date's not as much fun as you hoped it would be.