Sure-Fire Ways To Kill A Budding Romance

The rush of a new romance is an unparalleled high. We've all felt it at some point. The feeling that the world is indeed a beautiful place. Actually, when you become infatuated with someone, the neurotransmitters in your brain - dopamine mainly - trigger a feeling of buoyancy, elation, and a general feeling of blissful wellbeing. Of course, along with that high comes insecurity. And sometimes, that's enough to put the dampers on a budding romance, which is at a fragile stage as it is, even without your anxiety. Ok, so you're young, burdened by the proverbial biological clock, not to mention anxious matchmaking relatives. But that's no reason to make mistakes in the first few weeks, even months of a new beginning - which has not yet found the potential of being termed a 'relationship'. We asked a few women who've been there and done that, what NOT to do in a new romance.

Don't wonder where this is going: There's no easier way to kill the 'new romance' euphoria than anxiety pangs about where 'this' is leading? 'This' being the beginnings of what could be a lasting relationship. "Do yourself and the man a favour... give it time," says 28-year-old Sakshi Shukla, who, after two failed relationships, and a lot of pressure from her parents to 'settle down', scared away two potential 'good guys' because of her constant anxiety about whether five dates meant a possibility of 'happily ever after'. "I asked myself, and unfortunately the guy too, more than once, in just two months, whether we were compatible, whether he thought we were heading somewhere... I didn't allow the two of us to just discover for ourselves if we fit," she says. Just enjoy the many firsts a romance offers... the rest will work itself out, if it's destined to.

Don't appear overeager: You haven't been with anyone for over two years. You think that the next man who comes along is 'the one' and you worry that he'll disappear if you don't pin him down. Calm down. You will scare him away if you're going to come on too strong.

At this stage, be friends with him. Meet him like you would a friend. Have fun. Laugh at him. Laugh with him. Laugh at yourself. Flirt shamelessly and have lots of fun. It IS a new beginning. Give it a chance to grow. And, keep the anxiety attacks at bay.

Is He Seeing Other Women?

I was dating this guy for two months, a workaholic, and we didn't see each other too much but we would talk on the phone very regularly. Though I really wanted to know where I stood in the scheme of things, I didn't want to have a relationship talk with him so soon. We got intimate, I decided to sleep with him, and I started wondering if he was seeing anyone else, since we'd never talked about exclusivity. I asked him about it casually and he said he wasn't. I might not have the right to demand that he stop if he was, so soon, but I would've had a chance to rethink my decision, even healthwise, if I wasn't the only one.

Aarti, 28

Clingy, Clingy

I was in an extremely vulnerable state when I met Ashish. Just two weeks into the relationship, and I couldn't stop obsessing about where he was and why he hadn't called me for two whole days! A very close guy buddy set me right. He made me realise (in not so many words... 'Get a life' was a phrase he used!) I had too much pinned on something that couldn't even be termed as proper dating. He said that a guy is instantly turned off by a woman who clings because he wonders why she can't see that he has so many flaws.

So he assumes she must be desperate. He also admitted after this talk that guys are weird. Well, I curbed my insecurities and backed off.

It worked rather well.

Shreya, 26