Singin' Praises
Love
takes care of everything for singer Shaan and his wife Radhika...
Shaan's
Take
I
met Radhika at a club in Juhu that I frequented to play pool. We kept meeting
each other that week in and out of places. I was reading a book then that had a
huge impact on me. It said if you keep meeting someone coincidentally, it is
about time you picked up the signs and did something about it because there
aren't any coincidences in life. I took the advice seriously. I didn't think it
would go this far, but now that it did, things are great!
Falling
in love again after the baby: It is about sharing the most precious treasure
that belongs to the both of us. Although she insists he belongs a little more
to her when he is behaving!
Bored?
Us? No way: We have been married for four years now and even dated for four
years before getting married. We share an amazing understanding where we are
aware of our differences and have agreed to disagree on them. Radhika and I made
a pact not to talk about our work all the time since flying on Swiss Air as an
airhostess is very different from singing in a recording studio!
Our
basic rules of marriage: Not doing night outs by ourselves. Not making the
'space issue' a big issue. The way couples talk about giving each other space
all the time, often translates into too much space, which is unhealthy for the
relationship.
Busy
schedules: I have really cut down on socialising. So now I am mostly at home
with the family. Sometimes when I have a show out of the city, they come with me
and we try and take a little holiday.
Radhika's
Side
The
DJ dedicated the song 'Mysterious Girl' to me and I thought it was Shaan so I
smiled at him. And then, for all the wrong reasons sparks flew. We both thought
that the other person was hitting on us! The strange thing about us was that we
kept bumping into each other at random places. Outside discos, petrol pumps,
signals and shops.
Keeping
the much clichéd spark alive: Open communication is the key. I always
know exactly what he is thinking and we often fight about things that haven't
even been said because we know that we are thinking it. We are best friends. I
still want to hear his voice first thing in the morning.
I
am his biggest critic: I do have a good ear for commercial music. I am right 85
per cent of the time! Shaan cannot make decisions for himself. My advice plays a
very important role in his work. I give him advice from his fan's perspective
rather than a wife's.
As
told to Sakshi Didwania
__________________________________________________
The Small Stuff
Venkatesh
and Jayanthi Prasad express love in thoughtful ways
Jayanthi's
Side
I
am chatty; he's quiet. I communicate in more ways than one - gestures,
expressions, and words; he speaks only when spoken to. It's probably our
opposite natures that create the chemistry required to keep our relationship
alive and bubbling... even after eight years of marriage.
It's
the little things that count: For instance, I always make sure there's a glass
of carrot juice or a milkshake waiting for Venky when he gets home in the
evening after practice, as I'm usually still at work. He knows I'm not big on
diamonds or gold jewellery so if my birthday is around the corner, he goes out
and gets me a nice cotton sari, which makes me very happy.
Three
things on my list that keeps me close to my man: a) I will never change myself,
because he fell in love with me for my qualities, and that includes no role
playing just because his mama is around, I'll be myself and we'll grow together
b) I maintain my body. Many women just let go after a few years. If you don't
like seeing a paunch on your man, then you had better be in good shape yourself.
I take the time and make the effort to dress smart; I know Venky loves to see me
in chunky silver jewellery, it's so much a part of who I am, and that's the way
I dress c) We give each other space in the relationship. If your man likes to
play golf and you like drinking beer (Venky prefers eating pizzas when I'm
guzzling down the beer) then you accompany him to the course, let him have his
two hours of tee-time, and then do lunch (and beer) someplace where you like to
go.
Our
son Prithvi: I have a support system that takes care of the little one, and I
also don't feel left out when Venky is out on a game.
The
best thing we do together? Besides having sex, you mean? Just kidding. We love
driving away from the city together. We carry the kind of music both of us love,
country western or blues, plus a carton of beers for me, some pizzas for Venky
and we talk all the way. That really helps us bond. Our best experience is
visiting temples together. It makes us feel at peace with each other.
Venky's
Take
(Didn't
his wife tell us at the very beginning that he's a man of few words? Well, right
she was!)
Love
is about how well two people connect: We don't go around pleasing one another
at every step of the way, but if there's something interesting I want Jayanthi
to read, say a book, or something, I go out and just buy it for her. She gets
delighted if I suddenly buy her jasmine flowers too!
As
told to Madhuri Velegar
__________________________________________________
Friend Speak
Designer
and owner of Circa, Simran and Neeraj Kanwar, COO, Apollo Tyres, share their
secrets...
Simran's
Side
In
10 years, we've never taken a step backwards: We have known each other for 10
years now. We've been married for nine of them and were engaged for a year.
Neeraj is my closest friend. We married very young... we've actually grown up
together. We have a son, Jai Karan, who is five-and-a-half.
Neeraj
is incredibly romantic: He knows how to make a woman feel special. He'll turn up
with flowers, even when there's no occasion. He does sweet things every now and
then. Even when he's on a hectic business trip, he'll remember to get something
for us even at the last minute. After a few years of being married, most men get
busy with their work and forget everything else. But not Neeraj. He's still the
way he was at the beginning of our romance.
Staying
in love: We advise and consult each other. I feel that these little things make
you appreciate the person more over the years. When we can, we go for movies,
and on holidays. We spend a lot of time with our son. We do have our fights like
every couple but we enjoy each other's company so much that we can never be
annoyed with each other for a long time.
I'm
more impressed every day by: The way he's become responsible about both his work
and family. I met him when we were very young and I'm floored by the person he's
turned out to be. He's the kind of person who gives his 100 per cent to
something... but no matter how busy he may be, he reserves the weekends for his
family.
Neeraj's
Take
Being
together: We have always been the best of friends and Simran has always been
very patient with me, helping and supporting me in everything I do.
I
love the way she loves us: She's a wonderful mother to our son. Another quality
in her I really appreciate is her relationship with my parents. More than a
daughter-in-law, she's been a good daughter to them.
Over
the years I have come to admire: The fact that she's a very religious
person. When I met her I didn't know she was so deeply involved in it. There's
something about spiritual people - an aura of peace. Spiritualism is one
quality we were brought up with in my family and it is something I have found
and love about Simran.
Staying
in love: She's not just a beautiful woman; she's also loving, caring and
trusting. And like I said, she's a very good friend.
As
told to Reshmi Chakraborty
__________________________________________________
Laugh out Loud!
Cyrus
and Ayesha Broacha give honesty a whole new meaning...
Cyrus
Says
We
have been married very long... almost three years now. We have survived; I don't
know how... despite our personalities. It is a miracle. We got physically
intimate in 1995, which is what I define as dating, otherwise you are just
brother and sister like the rest of the population of India.
The
spark went off on the third day of our marriage. There was no 'suhaag raat'. I
couldn't find parking after I came back to my building that night. By the time I
got up to the room, Ayesha was fast asleep so my dad and I sat out in the living
room and counted the money we got in presents, to see how much of our losses we
could cover. I could tell from his face that we didn't do too well.
Keeping
the romance alive: When you try to be romantic you are not really romantic. It
is called trying to save the marriage. Which is what I do every third day.
Children:
I fail to understand why couples remain childless. Having children takes the
relationship to another level and they really are fun to have around!
Family
hour: Is at the Oval maidan in the evening. The dog, son, wife, and I go. My son
calls eight people daddy. So I am worried.
Ayesha's
Defence
Special
things we do for each other to keep the spark alive: The fact that I put up with
him is good enough. My friends tell me I deserve a gold medal. Honestly, I think
it's the space we give each other. Cyrus is not really funny. He is the
opposite. He's grouchy at best. If I hadn't watched MTV, I would have believed
that I am married to one of the grumpiest men on earth!
Over
the years, we've learned to stay far away from each other's work: Occasionally,
when I am channel surfing, I happen to watch Cyrus. That's it. I know nothing
else about his work. And he's not interested in mine (photography) either. I
think he's visually impaired. I have tried involving him but I don't get the
feedback or response I am looking for. So that's that.
Falling
in love again after the baby? In our case, for Cyrus, the dog became more
important than the baby! He said he needed to reassure the dog because we had a
new member in the family. It took him a long time to see Mikhaail, who is now
one-and-a-half years old, not as an entity but our son. Now, of course, we both
enjoy him immensely. For Cyrus, everything Mikhaail does is cute and rare
because he doesn't spend much time at home, whereas I'm there most of the time.
Cyrus
Broacha spoke with Sakshi Didwania & Ayesha Broacha spoke with Namita A
Shrivastava.
__________________________________________________
A Love Canvas
For
artist couple Nupur and Subroto Kundu, art is a matter of the heart
Nupur's
Side
There
was some opposition from my family: We have known each other for 11 years now.
We met in Delhi College of Art, where I was a student and he was teaching.
Initially, my family refused to accept him, but once they came to know him and
visited his family in Kolkata, they liked him.
Bonding
factor: The love for fine arts is what keeps us together... apart from our son,
Shaiyanaak, who likes to call himself Shah Rukh Khan these days. Although we are
in the same field, ego hassles have never come in. He's way ahead of me
professionally and I look up to him.
Staying
in love: We share a lot of interests. We both like visiting art exhibitions. We
love travelling together, especially to art camps. We are also foodies and
though I'm a Punjabi, thanks to him I've developed a taste for traditional
Bengali vegetarian food.
I
love the way he tries to keep our romance alive: He's very thoughtful. He knows
how much I hate clutter so he got some carpentry work to be done while I was
away. Recently, he held a surprise birthday party for me, where he invited not
just our common acquaintances but also my friends... meaning he took the trouble
to go through my phone book, take down my friends' numbers and then invite
them...
Subroto's
Take
Stronger
after the baby: Our child has brought us closer. He went through a severe
digestive problem after birth. It was a very tough time for us and it brought
us closer.
What
keeps me in love: What I like about her is the respect with which she treats
some of the senior artists who are part of my friend circle. She also brings a
fresh perspective on my work, which is very refreshing. I like the fact that we
are able to carry on our mutual understanding through art.
As
told to Reshmi Chakraborty