Happy Fighting
A good fight clears the air. OK, so you've heard that before. The thing is, and we can't stress this enough, is that fighting fair is the only way to go. A blame game, a sulkfest - these are all no nos. Instead of giving you examples of other unhappy couples (even though we know you will take sadistic pleasure from it), we are giving you the rules to fight fair.

Ruthless and pointless arguments have made women resentful and many a man has turned philiosopher, resigning to the fact that there is a secret women's organisation where they teach sarcasm and emotional blackmail, and there is no way that men will catch on. Ever. Anyway, let's make life easier. Starting now.

Make-Up Sex!
Yeah, now we're talking! Ever noticed that after a plate-breaking fight, you tend to make love almost with a vengeance? The reason is simple. Sexual reconciliation can be an intense way to reaffirm you're in love, to show your partner you're in control, or tell him you're powerless to resist him. Whatever the reason, one thing is for sure: The residual anger can actually spice things up in bed, deepen feelings, and bring you closer.

Learn The Alphabet
Of course there will be times when you're too angry to even think about letting him touch you, leave alone making love. When that happens, just remember these ABCs of fighting fair:

A is for Allowing your partner to have the floor: Non-listening can become a serious problem between you. Don't cut him off mid-sentence, and don't go on harping on your point of view. Similarly, if he's in Demolition-Man mode, raise your hand and ask him if you can have a moment to put forward your side of the story.

B is for banishing the 'B' word: That word is 'blame'. Blame-trading often happens when you have deeper issues bubbling beneath the surface. Try this simple exercise: Take pen and paper and list out three things that bother you about him. Then one by one, discuss them with him when you are not arguing about something else.

C is for Compromise: Picture two large cars facing each other on a narrow one-lane bridge. Unless one of them backs off, neither can pass. The same with fights. Be willing to compromise - it doesn't mean you've accepted defeat. It shows that you care enough about your partner to give him some leeway.
Resist the temptation of bringing in a mediator. It often does more harm than good.

Frightening Fight Statistics
Even in a happy relationship, more than 80 per cent of the time it is the woman who raises inter-personal issues, while the man tries to avoid discussing them.
• Stress from hostile marital arguments builds up over time to weaken your immune system.
• An unhappy relationship can increase your chance of getting sick by 35 per cent and shorten your life-span by four years.
• In an argument, when your heart-rate goes above 100 beats per minute, you become incapable of hearing what your partner is saying.
(Statistics courtesy www.cconnected.com)