The
horny state of mind may not be the best time to take this decision. So, before
you get ‘in the heat of the moment’, think about the risks and
responsibilities of a sexually-active life, says Ruchira
Bose
Physically, if you’re over 14, you’re ready.
But don’t let your mother read this! First, you have to drill into your
head that no matter what Sushma Swaraj or Vandana Shiva or Gloria Steinem say,
it is your body and therefore, your decision.
Often women are given
the message that waiting to become sexually involved with a lover is a sign of
your virtue. Sexuality is a natural and healthy part of being human, and
expressing that part of yourself is perfectly okay if you are an adult (read
above 18).
Your sexuality belongs to you; you have the right and
responsibility to choose when, how and whether to express it as an informed
adult, when you are ready to do so. If you feel unsure, then your mind, heart
and/or body is giving you a signal to slow down or take the first exit off this
highway. Follow your instincts. Meanwhile, enjoy the evolving friendship and
feel all of your feelings. Don't rush and don’t pressure yourself. Be
you!
At A Glance
•
Know yourself — Does the situation ‘feel right’? Do you really
trust those feelings?
• Know your would-be partner — How well
do you know the person you are thinking of being with? Do you care for him and
trust him?
• Know your reasons — Whatever your reason, be sure
about it.
• Know the risks — Heart break, regret, pregnancy,
STDs and HIV (AIDS) can all happen the first time you have sex.
•
Know how to protect yourself — Condoms with spermicide are the best
protection for sexually-active women. The Pill only protects against pregnancy.
• You CANNOT get pregnant through oral or anal sex, but you can get
STDs.
• Sex is not bad, dirty or wrong,