BRINGING BABY HOME

A woman between 35 to 40 or older, who becomes a mother, is usually a person who has an active well-set life of her own. Having to make adjustments to her lifestyle because of the newborn, after years of living in a certain way, may not be a welcome change. “One of the biggest risk factors is the change in the parents’ lifestyle after the baby arrives. It is something most older mothers should account for,” says Dr Gupta.

Nirmala however, insists that she has never felt tied down after her boys were born, though she did give the matter a lot of thought. “I’m a very hands-on mom and being with the boys makes up for everything else,” she exclaims.

The age gap between her and her sons doesn’t perturb Nirmala as she feels that she’s bringing them up as her friends. She doesn’t think it will affect her sons, although her eldest son Zoravar, who’s seven, jokingly tells her not to let her white hair show! However, Dr Majumdar feels that the age gap between the parents and the child should be kept in mind, since if “there is a huge disparity in age, later in life, parents and children might have completely different ideas.”

Most mothers reject that notion, but agree that there are certain points to be kept in mind. “When you are a young mother, you grow with the baby and are a lot more playful,” admits Raseel. However, the fact that she’ll be 50 when her child is 15 doesn’t play on her mind, as she says that it’s a matter of one’s attitude. “Parenting is difficult in every case, and even as younger parents, one needs to have an attitude that’s young and open,” she says. Agrees Dr Mukherjee, who thinks that motherhood remains the same, no matter whatever age it happens.

Donna feels that she’s relearning everything about a younger generation with her eight-year-old. “The age gap has helped me understand the needs of his generation,” says the doting mama.

While Nirmala got lucky and conceived her second baby almost immediately after her first one, most mothers who have their first child late do not plan another.

“I have one son and he is special; we couldn’t divert our attention, love and energy towards another child,” says Donna.