WHAT YOU REALLY, REALLY WANT

Well-known interior designer Raseel Gujral is a mother who has experienced both extremes. Her first-born Akarsh is 17, while her second child, Imaan, is all of two! For Raseel, married to businessman Naveen Ansal, becoming a mother at 35 was a conscious decision.
“When you are older, you have more clarity in terms of what comes first. You are well settled at work, and your relationship is more stable. At that age, you are having a child because you really want one. It becomes your first priority, and even if your career takes a back seat, you don’t mind the trade-off,” she says.

Shalaka agrees that with age, one’s priorities are clearer. The self-confessed workaholic is planning to take a year’s sabbatical after the birth of her child, and reduce her workload thereafter. “I’ll have no regrets on the work front, as I have fulfilled that need already. Now I want to concentrate on my family and bring up my child,” says the radiant mother-to-be.
GETTING TOO LATE?

Despite the happy mothers, there are as many myths as there are facts about late motherhood. And prejudices, dilemmas and worries continue to exist.

Many in the older generation see it as procrastination and believe that there is no reason why a baby can’t fit into your life, no matter how busy or high-profile you are.

For most busy career women, waiting for a baby involves the dilemma of living with the desire to have a child and the fear of not being able to give all her time to the child.

“As a career woman, my greatest fear is that I may not be able to do justice to the child I bring into this world,” says Calcutta-based designer Kiran Uttam Ghosh. She also feels that, “With age, I am running out of patience and I am not sure if I can put up with the child’s emotional requirements.”
Dr Majumdar feels that the advancement in Assisted Reproductive Techniques (ART) has enabled more women to plan late pregnancies, but also cautions that women should not delay a pregnancy unnecessarily.

“A woman should definitely start planning before 35,” advises Dr Majumdar, who stresses that even if someone is planning to conceive late, she should get regular check-ups done to ensure that physically, all is well. She further elaborates that most women who delay their pregnancies, have high-profile, busy careers and are prone to stress, hypertension, high-blood pressure and other complications, which may become risk factors during pregnancy.

Fact is, post-35, a woman also has fewer chances of conceiving, than she would between 25 to 35. Dr Gupta feels that women should not rely on the fact that technology is available, believing that they can become mothers at any age.
Nirmala went through complications during her second pregnancy at 40, and feels that the key is to be emotionally secure during the time that one is pregnant and keep the mind as free of stress as possible.

Donna feels that late motherhood is a decision that a woman should take only after considering how fit and agile she is physically and mentally.

“As a doctor, I would not advise women to have children after 35,” cautions Dr Mukherjee adding, “not that they can’t have them, but the risk of losing the baby is much higher.” <br />
Bringing Baby Home /articleshow.cms?msid=13672069