Sometimes,
the greatest joy comes from friends far away
Okay,
so you probably already have a faceless friend; she's your phone buddy or your
Internet pal. A gal who judges you on what you say, not how you look. Everyone
has need of a faceless chum. These pals tell it like it is - and they like you
for you.
The
Tried-Tested-And-Bought-The-T-shirt Experiences
My
friend Sushma and I have been mates for ages; we've seen each other just once.
She shares her entire life with me, except of course, when she changes her
underwear! We chat every day on the phone. Sushma is the self-confessed queen
of faceless friends. It's normal for her to have her inbox exploding with more
than 200 e-mails each day...
My
other mate Maya is not opposed to flirting with the opposite sex via the phone
and Internet. She finds it 'oh so mysterious and romantic' to fall in love with
a guy's voice first! Sure, Maya is a wild cat, but importantly to me, she's not
discriminatory against her gal pals - she makes a great Internet buddy
too.
What's
In It For You? Letting people be a part of their lives is tough for some, but
making friends over the 'faceless' media is easier and works like a charm.
Sushma 'clams up' when asked what's upsetting her; she becomes defensive and shy
when she has to bare her soul to another. But with her faceless mates, every
sorry tale of her life comes forth - the stuff that she would not ordinarily
share with someone she has to encounter face-to-face or on a daily basis.
Try
it yourself - you'll be surprised at how freely you pour your heart out and how
intimate you become with these friends. You will readily spill your guts and
they will be more objective when it comes to advice since they are not
emotionally involved. Therein lies the beauty of these friendships. It's cheaper
than going to a therapist! Because with life's ups and downs, it is necessary
to purge one's problems freely without the risk of being judged for them.
Letting go, not holding any of your sorrows close to your chest also ensures
your spiritual growth.
Even
sharing your joy with others means that your joy is doubled! And trust me, it
helps bundles knowing that you are not alone. There is a world of people going
through the same problems; some are even experiencing worse things. Hearing my
friend go on about the latest crisis facing her little child makes me grateful
for my own little world.
Also,
knowing that kindness and consideration can help another is great... So talk.
Type. Free your soul. A problem shared is half the burden and a joy shared is
infectious - it's a gift that keeps on giving.
I've
Done It, You Can
Too
Not
all of us go through the world as an open book or would like to. We choose not
to lay our wounds bare for the universe to feast its eyes upon. Some of us are
private and take forever to talk of our pain. This is the best reason to have a
faceless mate - to help you navigate the battle zone of life.And down the road,
you can do the same for her.
Acquiring
A Pal
Every
day, depending on the work we do, we speak to countless people.
Decide
today, to 'listen' to someone you usually just talk to. The voice is usually
directly reflective of the mood. If the tone is sombre, enquire why she is not
her usual bubbly self. Or find out the reason for her cheery mood. (Note: This
is not the time to interrogate or fire off a list of questions.) That could be
the beginning...
Remember,
these friendships take time but eventually, usually bloom.
Be
prepared for some
effort
.
Sushma
has oh so often taken time out from her busy life as a single mum to send jokes
to her hordes of e-mail buddies when they were down, men-are-bastard-type
articles to those that have discovered their significant others have been
unfaithful; or simple text messages of encouragement...
To
make a Net buddy, try Internet chat rooms. It might be wise to stick to chat
rooms that are focused on specific topics like saving the planet, world peace,
etc. I only offer this as a ploy to help you sift out the perverts since cyber
sex is all the rage; it's difficult to know whether you've encountered a
psychopath or not. So tread carefully. Don't trust too easily. And don't bank on
meeting them in person... especially the guys. If you need your quick fix of
curiosity, meet in public - a crowded coffee shop and have someone you know
nearby. All the rules of Internet safety apply to cyber friendship.
(It
might be better - though also more boring - to decide to cultivate an Internet
relationship with someone you're e-mailing on a work matter; though try not to
choose someone whose business is essential to your company - any falling out may
have catastrophic consequences for your job! - Editor's note)
GOT
COMMENTS OR QUESTIONS? E-MAIL US AT
femina@timesgroup.com
WITH 'LINKS - FIND A FACELESS FRIEND' IN THE SUBJECT LINE
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