You spend a major part of your day in the office; here's how you can 'work' out a love life there. By Shilpi Kakkar-Madan

PASSION makes you think in a circle. Add to this the hoopla of conducting your courtship within your work confines. You suppress the irresistible urge to aim darts at prying eyes and clip off flapping ears. Admit it: Your personal life is now public domain. Colleagues nosing and sniffing around for juicy tit-bits about your personal life is a reality. But what DO you do when Cupid strikes at work?

Rule # One: When In Doubt, Voice Your Concerns
Drawing and distinguishing the fine line between budding romance and unwelcome sexual overtures is rather tricky. Recall officer Rupan Deol Bajaj, the lady who made king cop KPS Gill kiss his own bottom for pinching hers? Ball park, ladies: Take heart and be firm. There is justice at the end of the tunnel should the sexual harassment factor arise.

The real love story starts when your gazes lock and your hearts beat a crazy tattoo. Remember, courtship in the work place is a different kind of combat. Try and follow...

Rule # Two: Keep Your Relationship Under Wraps
Don't broadcast the happenings in your personal life. This can be rather difficult if there is a dearth of other women at your office. Consequently, much to your anguish, all your moves get monitored. Your absence and presence is registered by every eyeball. Details like who you are talking more to nowadays and who's dropping you home form the gossip garnish at lunch. The whole office could be talking about you and him, wondering whether you've made out or not as yet. There might be floating rumours that you both set the sleeping bag on fire in the office. Relax. Let them die of curiosity. No harm done.

Of course, all hell will break loose if the cat gets out of the bag. The Boss will play the piranha cop, making your love life appear like a national crisis that is impacting your job performance. Then will follow snide insinuations about you not being interested in your work. And then will come the 'talk' about how you are hijacking your career even before it has taken off.If you are on the wrong side of 25,the point of how you are too young in your profession "to be doing all this" will be touched upon. And of course, the old man or prissy lady will say all this in your own interest. Touché. You can skirt the sermon hazard by following...

Rule # Three: Keep Your Pro And Personal Life Separate
Don't flirt at work. Behave discreetly at the office and save displays of affection for private moments outside. Refrain from holding hands under the desk, cooing likea dove each time you speak to him, exchanging lovelorn e-mails on the office account, and sticking 'Pizza at 6:00 pm' post-its at his desk. Resolve to concentrate only on work when at work. It works.

Rule # Four: Don't Try To Change Conservative Mind Sets
Courtship at work courts controversy. The chauvinists will get irritated with the glow on your face as they think that you both are always romancing in office.

So, that's not actually true, but don't waste your breath arguing. It's not worth it. Funnel your energy into achieving work-oriented results. The accolades will flow in despite gritted molars.

Rule # Five: Be Realistic
If you feed on the garbage they show on screen, you're setting yourself up for a huge disappointment. Realise that in real life, all relationships do not follow the fairytale romance route. Be mentally prepared for the possibility of your dating relationship going awry. Unfortunately, if it does, you will still have to work with the colleague.

Rule # Six: Go Slow
So, rein in your emotions even under constant work pressure and sizzling chemistry: Take your time to get to know the person. If you rush headlong into a relationship, in the event of it ending on a sour note, the awkwardness mars the business relationship later. If you take it easy, and your romance derails, you both can still part ways amicably. "If him, then why not me?" is also a spin-off mind set if your romance ends in a damp squib.

Of course, sexual romps to climb up the corporate ladder are as real as the casting couch in the film industry. Make your own decision about whether you consciously or unconsciously want to go that way.
And face it. You can't school emotions. The camp almost a third of our lives in our work place.

The chance of meeting potential dating partners there is high. Yet romantic involvement between employees is a sensitive area -- for both of you as well as for the management. It's tough but you can make it work, with tact and diplomacy. Manage your own life. If you're single, you need to mingle. Caramba!

Love Bites
According to the Work Foundation, over 50 per cent of adults in the United Kingdom meet their partners at work.

Work Truths
• Don't be a babe in the woods. Be aware if your organisation has a no-employee-dating policy
• Relationships at work are the focus of intense gossip
• Managerial intervention happens when your workplace romance affects group morale in office
• Fools suffer. Be firm in fobbing off unwelcome advances. Report to HR if sexual harassment becomes a reality