Suggestion VI THOU SHALT ALLOW THY PICTURE TO BE TAKEN, IF ONLY ONCE “Just stand there for a moment,” he says, grimacing into his viewfinder. “Don’t be silly,” she says and continues to walk fast. “You don’t want a picture of you at Hohensalzburg, the only complete Medieval fortress left in central Europe?” he asks.
He has not taken a picture of her at the Viennese opera house, at the Schonnbrunn castle, at the Mirabelle garden, at the Kunsthaus, by the banks of the river, near an Austrian meadow, and not now, certainly not now, at the Hohensalzburg. This is because there has been not enough light, too much light, too much wind, too much ozone in the air, just something wrong.
“Admit it,” he says putting his camera away. “You don’t want to be photographed.’’ She laughs. He points his camera. She lunges. The only picture he has of her in Austria is of her hand, dripping frustrated rage.
Suggestion VII THOU SHALT NOT TREAT EVERY HOLIDAY AS IF IT WERE A TO-DO LIST “We must see the Louvre, the Notre Dame, the Musee d’Orsay, the Eiffel Tower, Picasso’s home and leave time for Versailles,” she says. “We have two days in Paris,” he says. “Good, but the second day is for Nice,” she says. “Are we travelling at the speed of light?” he asks. “No, just waking at five am,” she says. He tries to drown himself in the Seine.
Suggestion VIII THOU SHALT NOT TREAT THE MAN WITH YOU AS THY PORTER AND SO SHALL BUY A BAG When he comes home, he finds the floor of the living room gone. It has been replaced by a crater. The crater is filled with clothes, books, kitchen utensils, prettily wrapped gifts, handmade paper, stencils, bags, boxes and other sundries. He checks the kitchen but the sink is still in place.
“What is this?” he asks. “I’m packing,” she says. “We’re migrating?” he asks. “Ha ha,” she says, as she thrusts a sweater into the bag. “We’re going to the Maldives,” he says. “Why would you need a sweater?” “Just in case,” she says. “It’s in the case all right,” he sighs. His back hurts already. Then his head reels. The suitcase has no wheels.
Suggestion IX THOU SHALT NOT SAY THAT THOU CAN COOK THIS AT HOME But thou will, so what else is there to say?
Suggestion X IF THOU ART ALONE, THOU SHALT NOT DO ANYTHING STUPID ...for a heroine in a film to be doing were she to be travelling alone. This one passes without comment.