Always beating yourself up about something? Stop now! Change your attitude. Banish guilt from your life.

You Feel Guilty About... The Past
Does a feeling of horror always wash over you when you think of the things you did in the past? If so, it's important to realise that no one gets through life without doing a few they're not proud of. Things which, not only shape who we are today, but also help us to become better people. Guilt is our moral compass. It lets us know when we've acted against ourselves and others, and it shows us which behaviour patterns we need to change.

However, regurgitating old guilt has no use apart from making us feel awful. It's about taking one bad deed and making it fit the whole of who you are.
To break the habit you need to mentally take responsibility for what happened, and then decide to stop feeling guilty.

Just as we have the power to make ourselves feel worthless we also have the power to make ourselves feel good, despite the mistakes we've made.

You Feel Guilty About... Not Being A Good Friend/ Daughter
OK, so you forgot to call your best friend on her birthday and you didn't have time to take your mother out for the day when she asked you last week. You're a horrible person and it's only right you should feel guilty. Right? Wrong! Being there for loved ones is important but be realistic and don't make unreasonable demands on yourself. It's not about being there all the time, but at the right time - the crucial sink-or-swim moments and the happy moments.

Mini crisis points, while hard for people you love, are about them, not you. If you expect yourself to never get angry or impatient with friends and parents, it's time for a reality check. Decide what are fair expectations for you as a friend and daughter and look at how you judge yourself when you next feel guilty. If you can connect with your real feelings, then you'll begin to learn what's best for you, rather than what you think you should be doing for others. You Feel Guilty About... being a working mom.

Whether your little darlings burst into tears when you drop them off or skip merrily over to the nursery or school gates-for most working mums, the words 'bad' and 'mother' seem to go together.Guilt happens when we set unreasonable standards for ourselves. So if you believe a 'good' mum stays at home and cooks, you're bound to feel bad.

The key to changing your belief is in making confident choices. If you have sound criteria for your decision to work - whether it's to be a good role model for your children, to provide for their financial future or simply because you're happier working - there's nothing to feel guilty about. You're living your life to the best of your ability for your sake and that of your family.

In fact, studies have shown that children don't suffer at all if their mothers work. Children take their cues from you. Their emotional happiness has less to do with whether or not you're working, and more to do with how you feel about your decision to work. If you show that you're guilty, they'll feel as stressed as you do.

You Feel Guilty About... Neglecting Your Relationship
You used to be eager for sex, weak at the knees when you saw your partner and desperate for the weekend when you could be alone together. Now, if you're like most women, juggling domestic and career duties, it's easy to lose touch with your other half.

According to a new research reports, more than 62 per cent of women spend more time each week cleaning their home than nurturing their love lives. If you feel bad about not spending enough time on your relationship, then it's important to realise that time is finite.

Learn to prioritise. Be realistic about what you can achieve - especially at home. The kitchen floor does not need to be scrubbed every day. You don't need to do everything to prove you're the perfect partner.

If you let go of your idea of domestic perfection, you'll have more time to fix the things you really feel guilty about. Set aside time for sex and your partner that fits in with your life. Sex doesn't have to be of an Olympic standard to be fantastic.

And being alone together, whether it's for half an hour a day or two hours each weekend, is what will keep your relationship alive. It's all about balance. Ditch the guilt. Look at the real issues in your life and find practical solutions for them.

With inputs from Psychologist Louise Raggett and Family therapist Elizabeth Harper