For Kirron Kher, life moves along the curves of emotion.In reality and on screen. The accomplished actress, honoured twice with the National Award has essayed powerful roles in theatre, television and films. But it is life that has taught her the real lessons

They also serve who stand and wait
I am not ambitious. My son Sikander was too young and I felt he needed his mother around. And I wanted to spend time with my husband Anupam. Those were the golden years of my life. When the pace of life was relaxed. My mother and husband constantly lectured me on how I was wasting my talent by sitting at home. But I was happy.

Marriage with the incorrect person makes a woman incomplete
An incurable romantic at heart, I never imagined myself single. For me, love is a constant state of mind. I never fell out of love without being in love with someone or something else.

It pays to admit your mistakes
My honesty made me admit that my earlier marriage was not working out. At that point I was dabbling in theatre with my best friend Anupam. And I felt the chemistry between the two of us was strong enough to sustain a lifelong commitment.

Don't do what you don't believe in I love children. Anupam and I wanted to have a child together, but it never happened. Adoption was not a choice as I was not sure if I would be able to give that child the same amount of love and respect as Sikander. I did not want to take that chance.

There is always a point of conflict in every relationship
I have learnt to examine the viability of an objection, before I raise one. The unfair reality is that all of us are polite to strangers yet we take our near and dear ones for granted. I have been making a conscious effort to be more giving. To avoid unnecessary conflict. It is not worth it.

Life teaches you to adjust
I have found peace in accepting the trivialities together with the enormities in life. I believe in being happy without stepping on another person's toes. It is possible to live and let live. Learn to accept reality with grace and pleasure.

Love what you do
Audience applause is important. But more important is the appreciation of people who matter - my family and friends. It doesn't matter if I don't get to sign a single autograph. But my work must fulfil me.

Multi-tasking is important
You can do everything. Work full time, run the house, take care of social commitments and make time for loved ones.

Life means different things at different levels
At 18, life meant travel, excitement and partying with friends. As I grew up, I looked for an emotional anchor in my partner. Maturity set in. Today, life means contentment in my relationship with my husband and child. I long for continuity in the time we spend together as a family. Something that is not always possible as all of us are working.

Romance is important and needs to be cherished, nurtured
I enjoy feeling the romance of being my loved one's woman. For me the beauty of falling in love holds eternal magic. I love dressing up traditionally in saris, complete with gajra and all. I never wear anything new when I am not going out with my husband. His approval means a lot to me. And I am not squashing my ego to admit that. I still relive the moment when our eyes met across the room, my stomach lurched, the moonlit nights filled with ghazals...

Honesty is equally important
In personal relationships and in work, both. I cannot excuse dishonesty in a person. Though I have learnt to school my thoughts and speech over a period of time. If the truth hurts someone, I don't say it.

Imposing rigid routines does not work
Like we don't necessarily have to plan an evening together. Impromptu, demonstrative moments work for me. Functional, being dysfunctional, is fine.

I believe in sharing a smile
Life is too short. Make someone's day by paying a compliment.
(as told to Shilpi Kakkar-Madan)