From
one to 69, Ruchira Bose teaches you some sizzling math you never learnt back in
high school!!
1 Need not be a lonely number, if you know how
to pleasure yourself. And it sure doesn't carry any of the hassles a
relationship does.
2 The number of love and togetherness. Forgive us
if we sound like a Hallmark card but sex really was meant to happen between two
people and it really isn't all that much fun by oneself.
3 Haven't
you tried a ménage a trois? Although, remember to: Play, but play
safe.
4 Is a double date. Steal smoochies, play footsies, or muss
each other's hair, you're on a double date, so PDA (public display of affection)
is a non-issue.
5 Is the number of times you call him today - each
time, tell him one sexy thing you're going to do to him tonight. We believe, by
your fourth call, he'll be standing in your office.
6 Just a
misspelt word... They meant sex, but the mathematicians couldn't handle
it.
7 The number of days in a week you do it. According to surveys,
Indians do it only 2.6 times a week. That's just atrocious!! You're just wasting
the other 4.6 nights watching TV, aren't you?
8 Time for dinner. Food
is the greatest aphrodisiac on the planet, so bring on the oysters, pine nuts,
dates and chocolate. If nothing else, they're delicious!
9 Rhymes
with wine. An excellent accompaniment for love and lovemaking. Although, too
much of it may be a dampner. Just drink enough to reach that state of
'happy'.
10 Is the number of ways you can get a man's attention.
Actually, you can just throw him one look and you'll get his attention. Men
don't need much!
11 Standing in the shower and doing it. We're just
downright audacious, aren't we?
12 The number of kisses he showers
on your face. But what were you doing counting?
13 The number of
people at the last supper. Oh, this is supposed to be about sex...
oops.
14 February, Valentine's Day. Not the only day for love. We
think all 365 days of the year should be devoted to love. There just isn't
enough going around!
15-minute long lap dance! In your sexiest
lingerie too.
16 Sweet. Sweet. Sweet.
17 The name of
another magazine. Glad you're reading us and not them.
18 You are
now an adult. Whooopie!
19 Time to get nice and naughty. Let him wear
your lingerie tonight. And since he's wearing yours, you obviously don't have a
thing to wear!
20 Two makes a couple, zero has no value.
21 Now you have the license.
22 Are you two-timing? Tsk
Tsk.
23 Usually the last row in the cinema.
24 Sometimes
there are bigger cinema halls.
25 Probably the number of kilometers
you have to drive for a snuggle-some weekend getaway.
26 The most
common anniversary date, according to an American survey. According to us: The
most useless statistic.
27 The number of exes you have! Use and
abuse, darlings! Use and Abuse!
28 Oh crap! Time for your period.
29 You're one year away from turning 30!!! Better have all the fun
NOW!
30 The number of condoms you should have in your loo. Safe sex
ensures more sex. How? Well, if you have safe sex, you're likely to live longer
and stay healthy there-fore you'll be able to have more sex. QED.
31
Ash turns 31 this year and she still sizzles! What's stopping you?
32
The age when women are said to be at their sexual prime! Time to test out that
theory.
33 Is your bio-clock ticking?
34 The number of
cuts the censor board thought of making in the film 'Basic
Instinct'.
35 The number of minutes you should spend pampering
yourself in a day.
36 B, the most preferred bra size. But who says
size is everything. If you're smaller, there's wonderbra and a touch of bronze
shimmer that will do the trick just as well!
37 to 48 have just left
the room to have an orgy.
49 The number of sexual positions in the
Kamasutra. We suggest you don't try all of them tonight.
50
Tendulkar's batting average. Isn't that sexy?
51 Different ways to
have an orgasm. There really are - if you include all those people who gasp and
hyperventilate at the sight of a red Ferrari.
52 - 58 are reading a
sex manual to take the tedium out of their night life.
59 Your last
chance to have some fun before you turn 60.
60 You can get senior
citizen's discount on condoms now.
61 The number of minutes you
spend making love tonight... at least.
62 Reasons to snuggle
tonight.
63 Sheer chemistry.
64 If you're this old and he
still makes love to you, well, don't you feel like the Beatles song When I am
64'
65 Chicken 65. You're the chick, and he hopefully isn't
65!
66 If you two were attempting a 69, then he's facing the wrong
way.
67 The age at which Hollywood actors decide to have a kid eg
Clint Eastwood.
68 Probably the number of love songs released this
year.
69 Must we explain this one?
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