IN THE PUB NEVER... 19 ... discuss menopause, or your performance anxiety with the bartender.
20 ... create your own sound effects to the pub’s video game machine.
21 ... leave your credit card at the cash counter. Buddy, you might just have to say hello to bankruptcy.
22 ... think that whistling will speed up the service. But if you continue doing so and have your drink ‘accidentally’ split all over your Versace jeans, remember we told you so.
23 ... discuss your gay lover and what makes him so hot in bed.
24 ... deliberately walk into a ladies room to powder your nose, unless you’re contemplating a sex change.
25 ... boast about how you got into this major brawl to explain your black eye, and then cringe when your wife walks in.
WHEN WITH A GAL NEVER... 26 ...break wind in the car and blame it on the exhaust.
27 ...peek into her handbag when she’s outlining her lips.
28 ...share her perfume or borrow her bra for a cross-dresser party.
29 ...discuss the sexual antics of your former girlfriend.
30 ...borrow her credit card to pay the bill. Women still love a chivalrous man.
Got comments or questions, e-mail us at femina@timesgroup.com with ‘male order’ in the subject line.