30 Things...Men must never do if they have to save their species!
IN THE GYM NEVER... 1 ... pump up the volume on your walky, when you’re doing your squats. Nobody wants to know what you’re listening to, or worse, put up with your off-key sing-along-to ‘I want your sex,’ unless you want a black eye.
2 ... reserve the changing room by draping your sweaty underwear on the door knob. Size matters, but you don’t want it to be discussed between shots of tequila now, do you?
3 ... strip to your G-strings, flaunt your six packs and then poke fun at the geek struggling desperately working his way through a barbell workout. Show-offs are shoved off.
4 ... use the ceiling-to-floor mirrors to scratch your crotch or check whether your nipples are perky enough after a waxing session. Gross!
5 ... boast of your last night’s conquest and roar about how good it was for your arm muscles!
IN THE CAR NEVER... 6 ... ask for directions in a dead alley. They’ll wonder whether you escaped from an asylum.
7 ... drive to the grocers to pick up bread, if it takes you 10 minutes to find your car in the parking lot.
8 ... try to make out with your mate’s girlfriend who had lent you his wheels the previous night for the office party.
9 ... pick your nose and when caught pretend you are tugging a shred of tissue paper stuck to mustache.
10 ... make monkey faces at your neighbour’s wife whose car has stalled at a traffic signal.
11 ... attempt to change your trousers at a red light on your way to the disco. You’ll do more than yelp if your zipper snags on... sensitive skin! Ouch!
WITH OTHER BLOKES NEVER... 12 ... share an umbrella, a lip balm, a cigar or underwear.
13 ... fight naked, unless you’re in a prison.
14 ... allow another man to give you a Kamasutra demonstration.
15 ... complain loudly to the landlord in a crowded tavern that his daughter has been slipping condoms under his door.
16 ... step into the landlord’s domestic spat unless their argument involves your wife.
17 ... allow another man to give your chick cooking lessons.
18 ... smoke to look sexy. Unless you want your butt looking like a turkey’s neck. Research says tobacco smoke destroys collagen, the protein that keeps skin taut.
When In The Pub...