Deal With The Bills

The wedding details - the caterers, the decorators, the venue, the guests, hotel cancellations - all these need to be sorted out. If you can, help your family cancel the preps... share the load. Make a list and make sure you leave nothing out. Of course, the monetary blow is harder to weather. The wedding insurance in the market covers only postponement and cancellation due to fire, theft, etc - not change of heart.

The Doctor Is In

Dr Anjali Chhabria

For the family: Be supportive. If your child has expressed a need to break it off, respect it. Otherwise, this uncertainty will manifest itself elsewhere later in life, in the form of extra-marital affairs or fights, etc. Don't find fault with your child. If he or she has been broken up with, don't think there's something wrong with them. Accept the other party's decision gracefully. Don't call them names, or slander them in public. If there has been an exchange of gifts and jewellery, take care of it smoothly. Watch out for signs of negative coping in your child - drinks too much, is critical, is unable to sleep or perform daily activities, says, 'I don't ever want to get married'.

For you: There is nothing wrong with you. Don't bother about what people will think. It's better it broke off now, instead of five years down the line, when there would be a lot more at stake. Couples who've got divorced later tell me that they wish they'd seen the signs. So be glad that you did. Talk about it, write down your feelings if you feel comfortable with that, and meet new people. Concentrate on yourself. Don't kill yourself over having made your family unhappy. They're happy if you're happy.