What's the link between job security and a secure relationship? Deepali and Amit Mahajan had enviable careers and a wonderful marriage until Amit’s software company began downsizing, and he got the pink slip.
Being jobless sparked off a series of unending complications for their relationship. Amit became pessimistic, belligerent and insensitive. Deepali responded by getting defensive and aggressive.
Plenty of accusations, fights and counselling sessions later they managed to find some semblance of common ground. They barely pulled along until Amit got a job.
Experts say that career security has a direct impact on a person’s self-esteem. Setbacks in your worklife can undermine self-confidence and cause insecurity. Low self-esteem and insecurity affects a relationship the most.
Amit became belligerent and insensitive these are the most natural expressions of low self-esteem. Deepali’s combative reaction reinforced Amit’s self-image. He most likely concluded that his wife didn’t think much of him, and he didn’t matter anymore.
ONE WOMAN SHOW Mani Chhabria of Sukoon Counselling Centre, says, such a situation can be a financial and emotional strain. Due to stress, a couple are bound to drift apart. From the financial angle, the whole budget system in the family has to change. If not controlled, this type of situation can spin into a vicious cycle and totally wreck a relationship.
The same is applicable if a partner feels anxious about losing his or her job, although the intensity is not so much because it can be remedied very quickly.
Fr Joe Fernandes of Snehalaya Family Service Centre, says, If a man loses his job, it is a major crisis. He looks at himself as a failure, inferior and inadequate. Losing a job for a woman may not be as important as it is for a man.
Here are some guidelines that could help you deal better:
TALK UP CLOSE The first thing to do is accept that people have different ways of handling their problems. Some may be very vocal, while others may simply recede into stubborn silence. Come to a consensus about how you can help each other.
Some people might want their partner to be available just so that he or she can discuss ideas, some might want the partner to pick up some of their household chores so they can devote more time to the job hunt.
Then, divide responsibilities to see how you can make things easy for each other. Try and keep the stress levels down at all costs, it’s important to create a positive environment
Fr Joe Fernandes advises, A couple needs to sit down and discuss things, be supportive. They also need to relook their savings and financial situation.
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