Pooja Bedi, model and former actress , puts it nicely: “I am glad I am able to do it now when I am 32 rather than at 52. Today, I am at a point where my life is in full bloom. I feel very much in control, confident, fully aware of myself, my needs and desires. I have realised through my journey what I want and most importantly, what I don’t want.”

Oozing with an inner confidence, she says, “There is a deep sense of who I am and what my life’s journey is meant to be.” She may have been a sex kitten when she was in her 20s but now is a hot cookie, managing kids and chucking husband. Marriage was the end of one journey for her. It’s the confidence of her age that gives her the inner strength to pick up the threads of her life and cultivate her interests.

As did Madhavi Singh after her 37th birthday last year. She decided to go back to school once again, taking up a teachers’ training course. She had quit working for several years to look after her young kids. “Being just a housewife was getting to me,” she says. “So I did this course to add to my existing qualifications. The best surprise for me was the fun of being a student once again. I cannot begin to tell you what wonders it has done to the way I feel. Today, I am happy with myself. Though, on many days, it’s tough to meet all demands — kids, household, hubby, homework... But it’s truly satisfying.”

Different Takes
The 30s is seen more as the prime of life where women sizzle with a youthful energy and a confidence like never before. Chucking away limitations is the wonder of the late 20s for the sassy 27-year-old lawyer with a multinational, Anamika*, “I am getting wild and more adventurous with my idea of fun,” she says. “On my last business visit to London, I decided to hop into a pub at night. I let myself flirt over a drink with a German tourist. This is something I would have never dared to do in my early 20s,” she admits.

Why? “Because there is no insecurity within me now as there was when I was 21 or 22. There are no heebie-jeebies about letting my hair down with a complete stranger. We clinked our glasses and moved on. And by the way gals, I am not single,” says Anamika, with all the self-assurance of a close-to-30 woman.

Gurlein Manchanda, a 34-year-old interior decorator and a wedding planner, speaks about how her attitude has changed, “I don’t care what other people are going to think or say any more. Those insecurities don’t bother me now. I am comfortable with who I am.”

Shabinaa Khan, costume designer to film stars, defines the maturity that has come to characterise her personality. “Now, I am much calmer. I see and try to understand another person’s point of view.”

The Power Of 30
This maturity that signifies a woman in her 30s, empowers her to take on the multiple roles of a wife, mother, and a career woman with confidence. “You are in the mid or senior management levels when you are in your 30s, whereas earlier you are still finding your feet, still learning the ropes. Now you are ready to lead and give directions,” says Deepshikha, director, client servicing, with an advertising agency in Mumbai.

It’s not just the power alone that is a feel-good factor. It’s also the financial independence that gives her an edge. What is it that makes a woman so confident about herself in her 30s?

Explains Dr Rao, “The inhibiting factors of gender bias (a belief that as a girl you cannot do this/you are a girl therefore, you should behave in a certain manner) which were a part of her upbringing, growing years as a teenager, now take a backseat.

The period between the 20s and the 30s gives her time and experience to feel the ground, to know that she can stand on her own. She begins to feel, ‘I am being taken as I am. I can exploit my potential. I can express myself and be accepted as I am.’ That gives her the confidence to do as she wants.”

Adds Dr Rao, “Also, by the time she reaches her 30s, the influence of control systems of others on her diminishes. This puts her in a situation where she can be on her own. She’s considered an adult by her spouse too, and left to use her own reserves to deal with her difficulties. The experience that one gains by doing things on one’s own and trying out various things is invaluable.”

With the mind turning sharper, more agile, the body is left with only one choice — like everything else, get better! Looking good is as much a priority with women now, as it was earlier, and never mind if you’re single, married, a mother, whatever. In fact, more and more women are taking charge of their bodies after childbirth.

“I feel I look much better now than I ever did in my 20s,” says 32-year-old Moneesha. “I plan to go to the gym for my workout regularly. The result is that I am not only more fit than what I was in my 20s, but I also have a well-toned body.”

So is the 30s really a time to peak? Once again, where do you set your limits? Or, must you set any limits at all? Someone once said, just over the hill lies a beautiful valley. You just have to climb the hill to see it.

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