I wonder what the chances of him not noticing that his car's not in the garage are. Pulled a howler? Here are steps to a perfect confession.

First of all, gauge the extent of the damage done.

Is it a seemingly small mistake (read: You've accidentally thrown out his absolutely fave pair of jeans or his CD collection), a grave error (read: You've wrecked his car), or a cardinal sin (read: You've cheated on him or called his mother some sort of animal to her face)? Now, plan accordingly. There is no set path for this. The rules change according to the blunder.

For A Seemingly Small Mistake

Okay, so your life did not revolve around his torn and tattered jeans, but they meant the world to him. For something like this, don't laugh and say, "Hey you know that rag you wear all the time? I'm sorry but I got rid of it." Don't make a very huge deal of it either. Indulge him. Make a lovely dinner, or plan an awesome make-out session. Let him know how very sorry you are and how awful you feel about upsetting him. Promise him you'll make it up to him in whatever way he wants. And then, keep that promise.

For A Grave Error

Hmm. Delicate. First resign yourself to the fact that you can count yourself very lucky if he ever lends you his wheels again. Yeah well, you should've thought of that before you decided to change the shape of the bonnet. Anyway, there are two ways to do this:

• Find out what he would think if this happened to someone else. For example, you could say, "You know my friend, Richa? She's wrecked her boyfriend's car." And then find out during the conversation, what he would do to you if faced with a similar situation.

• Just tell him. Straight up. If he says, "Oh God, were you hurt?" then you have nothing to worry about. If not, well, run for the hills. Just kidding. Well, take cover and ride the storm out.

A Cardinal Sin

All right. Time to get serious. This is a toughie. And we hate to tell you this, but there is NO easy way to do this. Do NOT, under any circumstances, do the whole dinner and lick-ass routine here. This is serious stuff.

First of all, if you've cheated, have a self-directed hate session for a while. We've said it before and we'll say it again - you're scum. Right, now that the pleasantries are out of the way, here's what to do.

Don't delay. Meet him and tell him as soon as you can. The longer you wait, the harder it'll get, not to mention the fact that he'll hear it from someone else first. Then you'll be in such deep shit, it'll take you ages to dig yourself out. Meet some place private, not in a restaurant. He might want to rant and rave so decide on a place that'll allow him that. And please, don't start crying immediately. True, it might be difficult to hold back your tears if what you're going to tell him is going to crush him, but wait till you tell him. Be upfront and don't beat around the bush. And when you're confessing, go the whole way. Don't leave loose ends untied - they might strangle you later.

Ask for forgiveness and mean every word you say. Hear him out - he might say some hateful things to you if he's really hurt. Well, you be the judge of whether he's justified in saying them or not. Remember he's hurting and might want to hurt you with his words. After you've both said everything you want to, back off. Don't expect him to forgive you then and there. Give him time to cool off. Give him space to think. Let him know you'll wait for his call.

If he's away: We're not going to lie to you. This is really going to take its toll on a long-distance relationship. But you'll have to work at it. We suggest, no matter where he is, try and get to him. Yes, it's that important to do this face-to-face (if you want to save this relationship, that is). Failing this, let him know over the phone, in a letter or by e-mail, that you have something important to discuss with him but that it will have to wait till you're together. And then, let it go. Don't bring it up all the time or he'll worm it out of you.

So, all the best. Don't be afraid. You're only human (part human if you cheated... but well, all the best anyway).

Got any comments or questions? E-mail us at femina@timesgroup.com with 'ROMANCE - 'fess up' in the subject line