Your boss loves you, and saying 'No' to any task is never an option.

Skipping lunch, rushing through dinner, and cheating yourself out of hours of sleep is a part of your daily schedule. You miss birthday parties and PTA meets without batting an eyelid.

And the excuse always remains the same: 'I've Got Work'!

Before you start lauding yourself for being a dedicated desk diva, know that none of this is a vital sign of a devoted worker. It's that of a workaholic whose single-minded focus on her career negatively impacts other areas of her life such as family, leisure and health.

Work Is Worship Or... Slavery?

Workaholism is a modern addiction, one that all addicts are proud of. Unlike other compulsions, which have social stigmas attached to them, those obsessed with work feel they deserve accolades. In fact, more and more young women stepping into the corporate world seem to be brainwashed into believing that the only way up in an organisation is to be workaholic, not just a hard worker.

Wait a minute; you don't know what we are talking about? After all aren't the two the same? Let us clear this up once and for all. Women with "work addiction" are not the same as "hard workers". Being a hard worker is all about loving your work, going the extra mile to meet a deadline or finish a project, and feeling satisfied with your achievements. "In contrast, workaholics are out of control. They over-focus on work and have the tendency to magnify every work-related incident," explains Arpita Anand, consultant psychologist, Max Healthcare, Delhi. "In fact, a workaholic or an office drone tends to draw her self-esteem from work. Anything that goes wrong on the job leads to serious self-doubt," she adds.

Office drones think about work constantly and if unable to work, feel panicky or depressed. They resist taking breaks or rewarding themselves with vacations. A workaholic pushes and pushes, and as she's approaching her goal, she needs another one to work towards. "One basic difference between hard workers and office drones is that the former are able to enjoy their accomplishments and reach a realistic optimum level of output keeping their health and psycho-social commitments intact. The latter do not know where to draw a line," explains Dr Samir Parikh, consultant psychiatrist, Max Healthcare, Delhi. Work is central to their life, and defines their identity.

The Making Of An Office Drone

There are many reasons why women become workaholics. "These days, the pressure to succeed is very high. It is the need to reach the top quickly, which is making the younger generation willingly sacrifice their psycho-social wellbeing in exchange for being an office drone," says Dr Parikh. The other culprit is high material aspirations. "Since success and financial security are linked, most youngsters (in the age group of 23-25) feel it is alright to sacrifice all at the altar of work. After all, when they tell people they are workaholics, they are usually congratulated for excellent work ethics!" he adds.

Take the case of Simran Arora, 25, a financial consultant with a multinational bank in Mumbai, who works from 9 am to 8.30 pm and sometimes even reports for work on Sundays: "Work for me is important; it represents independence, both emotional and financial. Yes, I am addicted to it because it helps me prove something to myself and achieve a goal. For that, if I have to put aside my personal life and neglect my body some times, so be it."

If work is a means to financial and emotional independence to some, for others, it is the reason to 'be'. Explains Suruchi Kapur Gomes, a 30-year-old journalist based in Goa, "Since I started working, my career has been a defining factor in my life. In fact, for the first four years of my career, it was the be-all-and-end-all of everything. Friends were put on hold, parties held for me went on without me...!"

"It is usually people with type A personalities - highly productive, always on the run, cannot relax, and do two-three things simultaneously - who end up as workaholics," explains Dr Parikh. Hence, it is common for office drones to feel ill at ease, jittery, jump, and nervous when not at work. Says Shuchita Chopra, 25, quality assurance officer with a multi-brand retail outlet, Mumbai: "I love it when I have loads of responsibilities! It's not that I don't enjoy taking time off but I prefer staying at work for long hours to going home and watching TV." It's no wonder then that Shuchita clocks an average of 72 hours per week at work.

Another reason why workaholics are born is that being in control really matters to them. Obsession with work is second cousin to their need for control. Office drones lull themselves into believing that no one else can really do the job as well as they can and that's why they find it tough to tear themselves away from their desks.

How Desk Potatoes Get Fried

A huge negative for women is that this pressure to produce and get ahead at work is coupled with the need to create a sound and sturdy family life. The expectation to become a 'Super Woman' is intense, a challenge that women are responding to blindly without really understanding the consequences. The immediate impact of becoming a workaholic can be measured on three parameters - medical complaints, relationship issues and personality changes.

Medical Mess

Cardiac and gastric problems, obesity, insomnia, depression, backaches, respiratory difficulties and fatigue are the common fall-outs for those addicted to work. "I suffer from ulcerative colitis, which is purely stress-related. It gets aggravated when there is work pressure," says Meeta Laddha, 30, chartered accountant, Mumbai. Thirty-three year-old fashion designer Anshu Bhattacharya from Goa finds herself less tolerant and more volatile during stress-filled workdays. Simran is exhausted by the end of the day and often sulky. "I get body aches and headaches. I've a severe back problem due to excessive travelling and ferrying a laptop around."

Dr Sunita Verma, consultant gynaecologist, Max Healthcare, Delhi, says two other problems associated with women who work too much are infertility and irregularity of periods. "I have a lot of working women in their late 20s coming in with infertility-related problems. While some of these problems are clinical, most times, the real issue is that these women are too stressed or tired to enjoy normal sexual relations with their spouse." As far as periods are concerned, increased frequency, heavy flow, anemia and fatigue during the menstrual cycle are common complaints.

Sometimes, work-related stress can cause gynaecological problems that have drastic results as Deepali Bhardwaj, 32, head of human resources at a retail store, Delhi, found much to her dismay. For someone like her, whose average workday stretches from 8:30 am to 8.30 pm, being preoccupied with work 365 days is common. "I never realised the quantum of stress I was under till something bad happened. I lost my baby in the ninth month and no doctor could pinpoint the reason for this tragedy. Looking back, I realise that I had not taken a single day off to rest during my pregnancy."

Personal Problems

It is a known fact that workaholism tends to distance work addicts from their immediate families and friends. Angry boyfriends, disappointed children, upset friends and disgruntled spouses become a way of life for office drones. Admits Deepali, "I haven't met many relatives and friends for ages..." Adds Ruzan Khambatta, 32, director, E-Comm Opportunities, Ahmedabad, who clocks in about 12 to 14 hours daily at work: "My parents do sometimes complain about work commitments affecting my personal life, since I have been putting marriage plans on hold. Now I try to make myself socially available after 9.30 pm."

Excessive work habits are known to cause tensions within the family, as well as have a ripple effect in other areas. "Once your satisfaction or dissatisfaction is linked only with your performance on the job, everything else becomes insignificant. Work addicts begin to avoid relationships in order to avoid conflicts and become increasingly isolated," explains Arpita Anand.

Three Steps To De-Addiction

Make Time For Your Loved Ones

Whether it is your husband, kids, friends or parents, every association requires at least 20-30 minutes of 'connect time' on a regular basis. When we talk about connect time, we do not mean time spent discussing bill payments or homework status. It is time spent talking to your loved ones about things that are important to them, making them feel that you care for their opinions and dreams. Leave loving messages around the house or send an e-mail from work to let your loved ones know you are thinking about them. Make an extra effort to be present on occasions that have a special meaning for them. Pencil in time for nurturing relationships.

Treat Your Body Like Your Temple

Start by taking care of the three basics - eating, sleeping, and exercising. Cut out on bad snacking and eat your meals on time. Whether it is yoga or a walk in the park, get some exercise daily. Get enough shut-eye on a daily basis. Also, take four-five minute breaks from your desk. Close your eyes, breathe rhythmically, and focus your mind's eye on a relaxing place. Go in for annual health check-ups to rule out health problems.

Reassess Your Goals

The question to ask yourself is: What do I want from life? Do you want to miss out on your children's laughter, your spouse's love and your parents' time, simply because you were too busy with work?

(With inputs from Ethel Da Costa, Goa; P S Bhavana, Mumbai; Purabi Shridhar, Reshmi Chakraborty, Shubhra Krishan, Delhi and Swati Sucharita, Ahmedabad)

Warning Signs

Of Workaholism

• Your home is just another office.

• You are competitive and overly committed to your work.

• You take your work with you wherever you go, even on vacations.

• Work makes you happier than anything else.

• You are frequently "problem solving" work situations in your mind, even during your time off.

• Friends either don't call any more, or you can't wait to get off the phone when they do call.

• People who love you say you're a 'workhorse'.

• You are tired, irritable, socially isolated, and might even suffer from headaches, insomnia, shortness of breath, racing heart, muscle tension, or ulcers.

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What Women Want

'Eves Dropping', a study conducted by Grey Worldwide to understand the changing mindset of young unmarried women in the age group of 19 to 24 years, threw up some interesting facts about women's changing attitude towards work. Respondents belonged to Mumbai, Delhi, Chennai, Kolkata, Bangalore, Lucknow, Nagpur, Ahmedabad and Chandigarh.

• 70 per cent dreamt about making loads of money and being successful.

• 34 per cent were willing to do anything to get rich quickly.

• For 77 per cent women, a settled career was more important than marriage.

• 53 per cent believed that they could survive happily without ever getting married.

• 53 per cent asserted that their career was their own domain and that husbands had no say or role in it.

• 76 per cent said they wanted to continue working after marriage.

Gender Benders

In today's changing, churning society, the pressure to excel at work is equally stringent on both men and women. Workaholism is a by-product of this striving to reach the top fast and both genders are equally affected by it. "The only difference between the genders is that workaholic women end up playing multiple roles - that of a homemaker, nurturer as well as an employee - whereas men can often shrug off the pressures of home problems," says Dr Sameer Parikh, consultant psychiatrist, MaxHealthcare, Delhi. Women are better equipped to handle stress and tend to manage their psycho-socio health better than men even if the stress levels are the same. This could be one reason why workaholic men tend to manifest cardiac problems much earlier than women do.