No crowds, no sweat, no dirt, lots of career opportunities, and money. So what more could one ask for? Nothing, it would seem. And yet, there's that something about home you miss when living abroad - the freedom to be yourself, the freedom to assert your identity, the freedom to make your own mistakes...

Four years ago, life in America was just an Idea for me. It sounded like a very good idea, of course, but that was about all. We often heard of people who had gone straight from Kanpur to Kentucky, and made it big there. We heard about how someone had sued the government for a million dollars (and won), just because the power had failed for 40 seconds. We heard fables of how water - as hot or as cold as you wanted - flowed freely from taps 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

The tales were alluring enough for me to try surfing the Net for possible jobs in America, but I guess I wasn't motivated enough to wade against 'No results matched your search' and 'Internal server error'. I soon gave up, and life went on.

But Someone up there was still surfing on our behalf, obviously.

A job found us, and the next thing we knew, we were on our way to Colorado Springs.

It was, as the French would say, 'un cou de foudre' - love at first sight. The rugged Rockie mountains, the eye-hurting blue of the skies, the Picasso-sunsets... for months, I was totally mesmerised by the place.

Then it began. An illogical sort of homesickness. Illogical, because I found myself missing everything I had detested about Delhi. The fights with autowallahs over faulty meters. The irritating whistles that emanated from the front benches in movie halls. The tizzy that "aaj paani nahin aaya" or "aaj bai nahin aayi" generated. The daily hardship of standing at the grocery counter and yelling "Bhaiya, besan dena!" In fact, the whole pot-pourri of madness-chaos-fuss-mess-warmth.

In India, I could have pulled my friend out from the middle of a board meeting if I needed her to help wash my baby's bottom. In the Springs, I always found myself thinking, "Is this the wrong time to call?", because like me, my acquaintances were busy 24/7, tackling their laundry, lawns, meals, kids, jobs. When I mentioned to an American friend that I had had generous domestic help back home in India, she gaped and asked me, "Gosh! A maid? Are you from a royal family?"

For months, I swayed between love and loneliness. There was a lot to love about America, no doubt. How can I ever forget the countless hours I spent in the amazing public library, with its sea of books and magazines and its heavenly iced tea? And the trips to destinations such as Aspen, Vail, Yellowstone National Park... some of those breathtaking sights were like standing face-to-face with the Creator himself.

But stronger than anything else was the urge to reconnect with the place to which I belonged. Sometimes, the pangs hit so hard I would beg my husband to shift to the tip of Florida. "At least that way we'd be a few miles closer to India," I would argue.

I remember the day I boarded the plane back home. The day was brilliant, spilled with sunshine. The Rockies stood there, majestic as ever, seducing me with the promise of a thousand surreal sunsets. And yet, as the plane rose above the polished Denver airstrip, carrying me toward the potholed roads of Delhi, I smiled.

— Shubhra Krishan

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Middle Eastern Odyssey

IF the US is the land of milk and honey, the Middle East is the land of black gold, and yeah, there's tonnes of the yellow stuff too... This is where your tax-free, single Dirham, Riyal or Dinar gets you anything from Rs 10 to Rs 150! And this is what has lured many an Indian - from domestic help to CEOs - to pack their bags and go where the summer heat is killing, but the cool quotient is high. Coz back home, it's all about the money, honey. Your neighbour, cousin, siblings or friends based in the Gulf really look like they have it made, don't they?

There really are so many Indians (and not all of them are Mallus!) in the Middle East that, along with Arabic, Hindi and Malayalam should be declared the local languages! So you'd better watch your mouth before you decide to speak 'Indianese' freely in front of an Arab, as most understand what you're saying. That's also thanks to the slightly unbecoming fact that a majority of domestic help is Indian. And Bollywood is big in some parts of the region too...

The Indian diaspora in the Middle East is varied. You have wealthy, successful Indian businessmen who have set up base in the region and live in pure Middle-Eastern, Arabic splendour, and you have head honchos working in locally owned companies doing pretty well for themselves, and there are the regulars in ordinary jobs - some in plush offices, others in not-so-swish set-ups. And there's also the lower rung, who get to live in a 10 X 10, air-conditioned room and who speak Arabic with the passion of a local.

And get a load of this - there are those who live on a 'paid visa' which is a convenient arrangement where they pay the equivalent of between Rs 60,000 and Rs one lakh to a 'local sponsor' and get a 'free visa'! They then have the licence (a work permit/ labour card) to live in the country and choose to be cheap labour who will work for anything.

Needless to say, if they're caught, they're in deep dung and being deported is one of the better things that can happen to them. Dunno what happens to the sponsor... guess he gets one tight slap on his wrist.

However, cheap labour in the Gulf earns the equivalent of anything between Rs 5,000 and Rs 10,000 a month, which is unheard of in India. And at the top level, you earn very well and live rather comfortably in your swanky beachside villa or one in the cornice and your fancy four-wheel drive only adds to the aura. For both ends of this spectrum, the pros outweigh the cons, which is why it's worth it. But we're not talking about the lower or top level here. Let's talk about a regular, educated working Indian belonging to the great Indian middle class, with a few years of work tucked under his/her belt, who is hard working and talented.

This person travels one and a half hours back in time to start afresh in what he/she believes is a professional environment, both at work and around. While packing the proverbial 'bori-bistar', it helps to go with eyes open and keep these few details in mind...

• You think Chennai, Mumbai, Nagpur, Jaipur, Calcutta, Delhi are hot? Try Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Muscat, Riyadh, Doha, etc at the height of summer. When the temperature reaches 50 degrees, it's a national holiday! While walking from your home to your car, you don't just get hot under the collar, you deep fry!

• Ladies you'd better vacuum-pack your independence and be prepared to be 'on the husband's visa' in more ways than one. In most countries in the Gulf, you can't work while you're on your husband's visa - it's illegal. You must have your own work permit to work and getting that's easier said than done. Some women work on the sly, but God help you and hubby dear if you are caught. Also think twice about getting a job in the Gulf and having your other half stay with you. He's just not allowed! Sure he can visit you, but he can't live with you on your visa unless he is on his own employment visa too, 'paid' or genuine. And for you, family status means just kids below 18 years.

• In some parts of the region, women can't step out of their homes if they are not appropriately dressed in a 'burqha' and escorted by a man who must be their husband. They also can eat out at specially-designated restaurants only. In other countries, women have to be careful hailing a cab after dusk, some places are safer than most but it's always better to be safe than sorry. Yeah, you could drive, but that would have to be after you get a licence, for which you must pass many rigorous tests (so that you can drive like a bat out of hell at like 140 kmph on the other side of the road!) and it's not an easy task.

• The money is still great in the Middle East, there's no discounting that fact but it's getting better here too. Companies in India have become more generous with salaries and perks, while the Gulf has tightened its purse strings considerably. Also the drive to employ locals in jobs previously held by expats is a huge, committed effort in the Gulf. And it's one to watch out for as that also means you could lose your job to a local at any time, with no explanations offered. Also living there as a family is expensive. On an average job, you must economise considerably to be able to save. If you have discerning tastes, you will want to live in an upmarket location, shop at the good stores, drive a cool car and eat out often... an expensive proposition unless you are DINKS or the aforementioned top level head honcho/businessperson. And consumerism is at its peak in most places in the Middle East, so it's very easy to be tempted and end up broke.

• Some areas in the region don't encourage the foreign press, some blacken out magazine pictures they find offensive to their culture and the Government largely controls information. In some regions in the Gulf, the laws regarding decency are very stringent, so you can imagine what it means if you're caught dressed scantily! Again, some places are more liberal and others very strict. And some Westerners may get away with it within certain areas though not always, but depending on where you are, you'd be better off covering your Indian backside well.

• Most foreign labels found in the Gulf are seen in the big Indian cities and it's only a matter of time before all major international labels will be selling us their wares. Today, even your neighbourhood grocer stocks Nutella, Toblerones, Kraft cheese and St Ives shampoos. They may cost a bit more here but go for 'em if you like. Or you can always go 'swadeshi' and choose FabIndia, SEWA, Biotique and Britannia! They're just as good if not better... else there wouldn't be such a huge market out in the world for them, would there?

• A friend who has lived in the Gulf for more than a decade once said - "If you can accept the fact that a 'gora' earns double your salary for doing half your work, then you'll be happy in the Middle East, else don't even think about it." This is probably on account of the Arab's burden of gratefulness which he still carries on his 'dish-dasha'-clad shoulders. For, while the Indians, Sri Lankans, Bangladeshis and Pakistanis may have actually toiled to build their cities, it's the 'goras' who showed them how to!

• In the Gulf, you don't need to be a criminal to be finger-printed. That's just a pre-requisite to acquiring a labour card/work permit in some parts of the region. But it's easy to be freaked out by it.

• Most times, switching jobs means being banned from re-entering the country for a specified period of time, if the company you worked for so decides. So if your job is not such a great one, you have no choice; you are stuck with it. Job-hopping is definitely not an option.

• The holy month of Ramadan in the Middle East is not an easy time for expats. This is when you cannot eat or drink in public to show solidarity and respect for the locals who fast through the month during the day and are seriously offended if you break the rules; in some places affronted enough to take serious action.

Just like any other place, there are Middle Eastern major success stories and horror stories too. So how much is different in India? Sure the red tape stinks, income-tax is a bummer, traffic is a nightmare, infrastructure is bad and corruption is rampant and it keeps getting worse. But it's where you get to be you, through all these trials and tribulations. In India, you can actually taste the freedom. You just don't get that till you leave its shores and return. There may be many a Middle East NRI who may differ and so scoff at this, but they have to agree that there's really no place like home. India is where you are not an expendable plastic labour card with a number; it's where you can take your liberty for granted. And that's what really matters...

(By Preeta Naidu With inputs from Sameera Moledina, Pune)

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Opinions:

"Migrants face exclusion, restriction or preference based on colour, descent or origin, which impairs the zest to stay on. It is anyway difficult moving to a new country amongst strangers. Most immigrants find a job and strive to buy a home. They try to provide their children with the education and opportunities not available in their native lands. They try to adjust to the new culture. And after all this, when they get discriminated against, they find it very difficult to carry on. Stress at the workplace contributes significantly to other serious problems. Many suffer from hypertension and blood pressure."

Kumar Kewalkar, Secretary, NRIPO.

"In India, when you leave the door or the window open, you can witness a scurry of activity; people are always there enquiring about you and your well-being and this makes you feel wanted. However, abroad, nobody is bothered even about their immediate neighbours; nobody has the time to socialise, they're all so busy in their own world.

Of course, there are plenty of physical comforts. You see roads that are clean and pollution-free, the air is so fresh..., in fact, I did not fall ill even once during my entire stay. Also, the amenities available to women who manage their homes as well as careers are abundant... everything is instant. But in spite of all these facilities, there's a lurking thought that says, 'this is not mine... This is not my land...' and you just want to dump everything to come back."

Bhagyashree Kumar Kewalkar, 56.

“The elders who have gone to settle with their children, realise that they have become totally dependent on the ever-busy kids for sustenance, for entertainment, for companionship and for everything they need. Within no time, they start missing home, the sights and sounds and smells, the bargaining for vegetables, and so on. They feel cut off from people and life seems to sink into isolation. Finally, all this comes to a point when they cannot take it any more and decide to return."

Vasundhara Parwate, Editor, NRIPO Newsletter