"You've grown so big," exclaims your NRI uncle when he lays his eyes on you after six long years. He isn't commenting on the size of your earlobes. A more brazen assessment from younger branches of the family tree has been, "You've filled in". The size of your mammary glands has become the conversation piece for your kith and kin. And the accidental brush against your breasts has become a more-than-oft occurrence at get-togethers where distant cousins, family members and Daddy's friends assemble over a couple of drinks.

And there are situations on festivals like Holi where that highly undesirable brother-in-law of yours grabs the opportunity to pounce on you and molest you under the guise of applying colour. Talk about rubbing you up the wrong way. The point is that you may feel too embarrassed to tell your father that his friend is coming on to you or that your Uncle's hand slipped accidentally from the table onto your thigh. But you would be a fool to let things pass unnoticed, and let such incidents increase. So then, here's a guide to help you combat undesired overtures:

Avoid Physical Proximity

Avoid being in a room alone with the creepy crawly ilk. And if you do find yourself in such a situation, ease out of it by pointedly leaving the room. Be polite yet firm. Make sure the message that avuncular affection, and especially cloaked sexual solicitation, is unwanted is transmitted clearly to all and sundry. Should he try and paw you again in the course of a one-sided conversation, relocate. That is, if you can't reprimand him and make him the butt of all jokes.

Be Witty And Wicked

Don't be a dumb duck and let flippant comments roll off your back. Be smart and swift on the uptake. If you're witty, you can sear his hovering antennae. Refrain from participating in discussions on sexual awareness. You know about the birds and bees and do not require any refresher courses. Say so. Draw comparisons if you must, between him and a walrus at a certain point during discussions. Or between her and an aged tabby cat, as the case may be.

Talk Loudly

If he speaks in hushed tones, pretend that you cannot hear what he is saying. Speak up unabashedly, and ask him to repeat what he is saying, repeatedly. Announce that you have a hearing problem. Unfortunately, when the truth about such sexual innuendos tumbles out during a family conversation, later, it is generally you who will be blamed for spurring feelings of lust in that person. Archaic opinion, this; but a reality. Nip it in the bud, by drawing the attention of all in the family to the brewing problem.

Answer In Monosyllables

Respond when spoken to; but don't bother with banter or social niceties. They will be misinterpreted as a 'come hither' signal and will boomerang on you. Short, clipped answers suffice. Selective hearing really helps.

Bring Up Sexual Harassment...

And unwanted attention from undesired quarters at the dinner table. Invent a friend who was supposedly at the receiving end of such attention, and describe succinctly how she kicked the pervert's balls out. Watch the predator-in-the-making squirm at the table.

Exclaim Loudly...

When an allegedly accidental brush of skin takes place. Don't mince words. Make pointed remarks like, "Could I have my hand back?" or, "Can you stop trying to paw me please, I resent it." And remember to stress on titles like 'Uncle' and 'cousin'.

Never Hover When Scantily Clad

The dribble may sully your clothes. And why have an unpleasant situation arise? Pretend that the person is invisible and stay unruffled.

Do What It Takes

Respond aggressively to any form of pestering. Block lewd messages on SMS and e-mail. Threaten to call the cops; do it if you must.

Remember 'Monsoon Wedding'?

That people feel sexual attraction is a reality. The situation becomes sore when it is one-sided. The trouble arises when it is incestuous and matures into non-consensual sex. It is the family that constructs what kind of traumas arise out of such kind of an occurrence. Puberty and adolescence are the formative grounds for attitudes about sexuality. And emotional scars take a long time to heal. It pays parents well to be alert and aware about the happenings in their child's life. And a great way to begin is by sharing mutual respect. Speak your mind.

Is Your Child Safe?

'IT would never happen in our family' is no longer a 'laxman-rekha' to keep sexual predators away from kids of all ages.

• Teach your child at an early age what 'good' and 'bad' touches are, and that no one but her parents should touch her private parts.

• Tell her that she should always feel free to tell you about anything and that you will give her the benefit of the doubt. Never dismiss a child who tells you someone is 'worrying' her - it's worth confronting the concerned family member or 'friend'; better a red face than a physically and emotionally scarred child, who will never trust you to keep her safe again.

• Avoid putting your child in a situation where she will be alone with someone - with the driver on the school bus, as the last child at the crèche...

• If your daughter or son seems uneasy around a certain individual, treat the situation with due seriousness. Children have well developed antennae for what is right and what could be wrong - and are often under threat to keep quiet (or else!) from molesters or potential molesters.