What is it about being on holiday that makes the heart seek romance? Is it that you’ve invested so much time on yourself to get there looking your best that you think you have a good chance of netting love? Is it that everyone on holiday is looking for fun, and that, the world over, usually means looking for love? Is it that on holiday, you virtually drop all your inhibitions?

Whatever the reasons, the fact remains that love in Tokyo, or cantering a deux down Matheran has its own allure. And one that, if you’re lucky and daring — and yes, careful as well — can be yours.

HOLIDAY ROMANCE...

The Wonderful : Anne Michaels* went to the UK on holiday, met a guy at a party, and exchanged e-mail addresses with him. She came back, they wrote each other a few ‘how are you/how’s the weather?’ e-mails. Then Cupid struck, and they started writing about family and pets, and talking on the phone, and finally, went off on what else, a holiday — to Cornwall. And yes, it was a holiday romance! ‘‘The experience helped enormously,’’ Anne says, ‘‘We found we had things in common, we had a lot of fun..’’

‘‘Holidays can be a lot of fun,’’ agrees Chennai-based relationships expert Dr Vijay Nagaswami. ‘‘And just as one doesn’t feel too uncomfortable exposing one’s vulnerability by confiding deep dark secrets to a stranger on a train, so it is that on holiday, when we meet somebody with the right chemistry, we can let ourselves go completely and be our honest selves without worrying about consequences.’’

Even if something goes iffy, says Dr Nagaswami, "You’ll always have Paris!" Or, in Anne’s case, Cornwall. She and her holiday mate returned to the real world, and to marriage.

The Good: Sameer Vyas, Mumbai Branch Head of Integral PR, was 21 when he met ‘her’ on a tour of Europe; she was a Brazilian beauty whom he met in a coffee shop. They had "something going’’ for a week; they adjusted their itineraries to meet in Venice and London, exchanged addresses and kept in touch by post for a year- and-a-half (no e-mail then, guys!)"

"The beauty of a holiday romance is that it’s like getting into a relationship right in the middle," Dr Nagaswami points out, "No uncertain beginnings, no heart-wrenching endings, just right into the middle. If it stays that way, you’ve built up a nice little nest egg of a memory. If it doesn’t, well, holiday romances don’t necessarily end in heartbreak, do they?"

No, they don’t. Though he and the girl knew they didn’t have a future, Sameer remembers the time with a smile in his voice, recalls her as "intellectually stimulating and very witty", and admits that she’s "still in my head", something (lucky him!) his girlfriend understands.

The Ugly: Neha Pote* went on holiday with her family to Darjeeling. There she met Sandip, a very handsome man who was of the right caste, creed and persuasion. Why do we tell you this? To explain why even her mom and dad were very pleased when he wined and dined her. Back home in Pune, the Pote family did not need to seek Sandip out to make a ‘rishta’; he pursued Neha.

In fact, he stalked her everywhere — to her post graduate classes, to her friends’ houses, to her computer course... till at last, the family had to get a restraining order to keep him away from the distraught Neha...

YOUR CALL
We haven’t much to say about that last case study, except that perhaps it’s worth delving a little into the other person’s personality and watch for signs of something not being quite right. What we do recommend is that you keep all your wits about you, have fun — which is what we always recommend — and play by the rules (see box).

Dr Nagaswami, who we sometimes find a hopeful romantic, agrees: "The thing to do when you’re unbearably attracted to the chap at the table on your right when you’re on vacation is to act on it; provided always that he feels the same. But keep things in perspective.

"Your relationship can bloom or it can fade away. Don’t pin too many hopes on it just yet, but don’t give up hope either. If it’s something more than just vacation pheromones, it’ll take a life of its own."

Yup, relationship experts, travel writers, itinerant globetrotters AND plain ol’ journalists are divided about whether you should pursue a romance begun on holiday. Let your heart be your guide.

The Rules For Holiday Romance