Sonali Bendre on meeting and marrying Goldie Behl. A Femina exclusive

I first met Goldie on the sets of my film Naaraz . He’d come to meet Mahesh Bhatt. My memory of our first meeting is a bit hazy, but his is sharp. I remember being drowned in a book and answering Goldie’s questions ‘very to the point’. But, I’m sure he has his own version. Goldie would visit the sets often, so we got friendly. I also became a good friend of his sister, Srishti, who got engaged soon after.

The wedding preparations and dos gave us more time together. We usually moved about in a large group, though Goldie and I would also go out alone. We became ‘friends’ in the real sense of the word, only after the movie got over. Until then, it was work that kept us together.

Actually, in the profession we’re in, it’s easy to be friends with people we work with. These days, ‘friends’ is such a loosely used word. A friend is so much more than someone you can have dinner with. Friends are people you can share your troubles and triumphs with. They will take your stupidest reason for not turning up, and you can call them up at any hour of the night if you need. So, I’d come back from my work and he from his, and we’d go out.

In time, Goldie became my best friend. There was nothing I would not share with him. He was the first person I’d share things with.

Work Was Not Work When He Was Around
Now when I look back, I realise ours was a special friendship. Work was not work when he was around. I gave better shots when he was there. I was a happier person when he was around. There was some sort of chemistry or biology, or whatever you call it, at work.

I remember the photo session for Angaarey , which went off so well. It was like a dream! Though I find the dhak-dhak expression a bit exaggerated, yearning and heartache happens as you go along.

Goldie Is The More Romantic One
Goldie is a very expressive and demonstrative person. He’s the more romantic one in the relationship. He is also very sensitive. No, he doesn’t do the flowers, cards and the rest of it. Yet, I feel the romance in the things he says, his little gestures...

He’s written the most beautiful verses for me. He wrote the song, Yeh hawaain zulfon mein teri in Bus Itna Sa Khwab Hai for me. He gives compliments, but in a matter-of-fact way. He appreciates what’s good in me or, let’s say, what he thinks is good in me. I was not a very romantic person to begin with, but have become one since I’ve met him.

When He Proposed The First Time
When Goldie proposed to me the first time, everybody in his family knew that he was going to do it. I was the only one who hadn’t read his feelings. Apparently, his sisters would ask him, ‘Why don’t you just say it?’ When he did, eventually, my first reaction was, I don’t want to lose my best friend.

Since Dad was in a transferable job, I was used to saying goodbye to friends. I never had any childhood friend I grew up with. And when you don’t grow up together, you grow apart. So, it was important for me to not lose Goldie as a friend. I also knew that if I didn’t accept the proposal, our friendship would end. It seemed like a no-win situation.

For us, people from the industry, it’s even more difficult to find true friends. There are very few who take us for what we are. Also, when we are working together 20 hours a day, the circle becomes tighter and somewhat incestuous. After much thought, I told Goldie we should remain good friends and not aim for more. He was taken aback, but he said, ‘Oh, never mind. What’s scaring you, really?’

Goldie had this huge advantage of knowing me inside out. He insisted on knowing the reason for my saying ‘no’. When he heard me out, he tried convincing me but I didn’t succumb. He also said ‘Sonali, no matter who you marry, I’ll always be by your side’. Of course, now he tells me he wouldn’t have been able to take that at all!

I Succumb The Second Time