The Indian woman’s new mantra is: It’s my life, my choice and my responsibility.

Savitri K, 58, was a housewife of the old mould. Although educated, she opted full-time for home and family after marriage, and got utterly taken for granted in the process. Then the kids flew the coop, and she suddenly realised that she had nothing to show for all those years except a husband who was busier by the day and couldn’t care less about what she did.

One day, she accidentally met an old college friend, who had started a community in the hills. Like-minded persons who got together, built their own homes according to their needs and finances, worked with the community, lived together.

Savitri was persuaded to join. Her husband protested, raved and ranted, but for once, she had made her choice: “I didn’t leave him in any emotional sense. I’m always there. It’s just that I have chosen to live for myself now, after fulfilling my duties.”

Today her husband, children and grandchildren come to visit and stay; Savitri visits her husband whenever needed. The arrangement suits all.
Savitri’s decision was made on an informed choice.

It’s My Life
Malati Pandit*, a banker-turned-housewife, says: “After five years in a leading bank, I decided to quit because it wasn’t the way I wanted to live my life. To me, quality of life goes beyond money.” She made her decision based on her own needs, while taking family commitments into account as well. Thirty years later, she has no regrets.

“It is people who make you feel worthless if you’re not working. But my advice to all women is: Define yourself. Don’t let others define you. For this you must have a deep sense of your own self worth.”

Welcome to the world of latter day feminist India with as many opinions as there are women. In their present new high, women are discovering to their delight, that they have one thing in common — the luxury of choice. And in a refreshing turnaround, they are busy remoulding their lives to suit their individual needs.

The new age mantra of informed choice is also resurrecting significant throwbacks. A TV company executive, who observes the ‘karva chauth’ fast each year, much to the delight of her mother-in-law, says, “I think it is a beautiful way of saying you care. I call myself feminist, but my brand of feminism is my own. Basically, anything I’m comfortable with.” The decision to keep the fast is hers, based on how she chooses to express herself.

An IAS officer from UP, says she made a conscious decision to adopt her husband’s name after marriage. “It helped my integration into the new family. The gains of earlier feminism empower, but don’t bind us to the same priorities. But making such choices is hard, you get a lot of flak,” she explains.

The Right Choice