In this world of instant everything — noodles, coffee, geysers — these couples have been together forever. Benita Sen ferrets out their love strategies.

There are six weeks to go for his birthday. Enough time, you’d think, for Anita Sharma to make her plans for what she would like to give Vivek. But Anita is a little nervous. “He hasn’t let out any clues about what he’d like,” she says.

That means, she may just land up giving him something he isn’t too keen on. That, for a relationship, says Anita, isn’t too healthy a sign. And she ought to know, since she has been celebrating this day with Vivek for 16 years now!

Roses All The Way
For a month before any ‘giving’ event on the calendar, Anita keeps her eyes peeled and ears tuned around Vivek to mention what he requires. Since Vivek is an unwilling shopper at the best of times, she doesn’t have to try too hard.

But keeping a relationship alive isn’t the effort of one partner alone, as Vivek realised a couple of years through their marriage. Recalls Anita, “He doesn’t come from a demonstrative home, and he couldn’t fathom the importance of a little sentimentality, a certain thoughtfulness,” recalls Anita.

Although it hurt her that Vivek never bothered to remember birthdays and their anniversary, Anita didn’t go off in a blue funk. Rather, when she thought the mood was right, she dropped endless hints for years on how she loved receiving gifts, specially roses. Today, even when Vivek tours, he makes sure the bouquet is delivered to her on their special days.

Making Time For Love
For Hemant and Aditi Rawat, the focus is different. “I don’t bother too much about whether or not Hemant gives me a gift, and sometimes, I overlook picking one up for him for our anniversary or some other occasion, but we both stress on spending exclusive time together,” she reiterates.

They discovered early in their 18-year-marriage that their respective careers and raising a family ate into their time together. “We’ve seen some tough times when the bond seemed to be fraying, but one holiday changed our perspective,” recalls Hemant.

Just a weekend spent at a wildlife sanctuary a short drive away from Delhi turned out to be so relaxing and enjoyable, they realised what they had been sacrificing in not spending time with each other.

So, for the last 12 years or more, Hemant, who tours frequently, tries to be back home on the weekends. “Although Aditi works on Saturday, the kids and I have the day off and so, our weekend begins on Friday night.” Just the four of them, to begin with. Sometimes, a friend or relative is accommodated on Saturday evening, but the Rawats are ‘rabid’ about their weekends.

Friends have teased Hemant about this, but he is adamant. “The rest of the week can be for friends. When we went through a bad patch, I understood the importance of working on our relationship. If I can work so hard at my job, why can’t I put a fifth of that effort into my marriage?” he muses.

Acknowledge The Wonder