Kunal Vijaykar talks about men and their foibles.
All men are liars. Especially the ones who tell you they aren’t!
Women dominate men. It is wrong for women to go on about fighting for their rights. All men are dominated... first by their mothers and then by their wives.
Men have a size complex. And any guy who says size doesn’t matter, is Small... I’m very small... you need a microscope, if you must know! Boys who go to an all-boys school have felt a serious lack of women in their lives.
Which is why, when we’re standing in a group, even as adults, and a woman walks past, we regress instantly to schoolboy locker room mode. What can I say? Women do strange things to men.
Men rush foreplay because we find it excessively boring... all this cuddling-shuddling is a female requirement... we have to do it. However, our motto is ‘Let’s move on to the main event!’
We use our “sensitive guy” thing to impress a new woman for a while... like for three days. Then it’s back to saying, “Can we get on with it?” If I had to share something intrinsically male with a woman, it would be my ‘Hustler’ collection!
The mention of marriage makes guys break out into a sweat for two reasons: Firstly, Mumbai is hot, so you’re sweating anyway; secondly, because the word ‘marriage’ makes us go fast-forward in 30 seconds: We see ourselves old, with a home to run, and kids!! It means we can’t be boys any more!
Man is NOT a monogamous creature. A man may stay faithful because he’s forced too, but hey! We’d all like to... freelance a bit!
Sex is sheer luck. That’s why man’s best sport is... let’s say... doing it for himself!
Men and fast cars... it’s a power thing.
I would never hide anything from a woman. I would keep it out in plain sight. Women like to look into dark cupboards... but they would never think to look right in front of them.
When a guy is getting dressed to go on a first date, one thought that runs around his head is, ‘Will I score?’ He knows that the 99 per cent chance is that he won’t. But it won’t stop him thinking about it anyway.
PS: Dear gals, please do not suddenly start hating me after reading this, because remember, all the other guys are lying too. My virtue is my honesty!