She is the nauseating epitome of obedience and deference as Tulsi in ‘Kyunki Saans Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi’. She is the unbelievable ‘bahu’ who holds the Virani family together. But one chat with Smriti Irani and you’ll know she is nobody’s fool

Tulsi and I: Tulsi’s character is something that has evolved over the time I have spent with it. In many ways, I am exactly like Tulsi and in some ways, I am completely the opposite. Tulsi has turned out the way she has because I am the way I am.

The typical ‘rona-dhona’, ‘sabji kaatna’: I admit all that can be boring at times. However, like Tulsi, I also think the family is very important. I am a good Punjabi girl. I believe everyone should respect their elders, be committed to their loved ones and that there should be love and bonding in every family.

The sanctity of marriage: I wear this bangle that all married Parsi women have to wear till they die. I feel a marriage is the responsibility of both the husband and wife. There was a couple on our show (‘Kucch... Diiil Se’) recently who talked about their open marriage and I thought that was quite strange. But that’s my personal opinion.

At times, Tulsi’s patience simply irritates me: I explode easily and am surprised at the way Tulsi stoically handles certain problems. My short fuse is something even my husband can’t manage. Although Tulsi is emotionally strong, she breaks down quite easily. I am not like that at all.

Fighting injustice: I cannot stand injustice, which helps me relate to my character. She is a crusader in the serial — she leaves her husband after realising that he’s cheating on her, she allows her daughter-in-law to remarry after a divorce and she asks her daughter to slap a man who eve-teases her.

Changes in the script: There are certain things I might find uncomfortable or regressive about ‘Kyunki...’ but Ekta (Kapoor) has given me the freedom to object to this and change it if required.

For instance, there was this episode when my daughter Shobha comes home crying and complaining about a boy who was teasing and following her. Instead of telling her to put up with it quietly, as was originally suggested in the script, my idea to firmly ask Shobha to go and slap that man and discourage him strongly was wholeheartedly accepted by Ekta.

There are several such instances where we have changed scenes that made me uncomfortable. But I also understand there’s only so much I can do in ‘Kyunki...’ A producer like Ekta is handling 200 actors, she’s not going to change her script every two days to suit me.

Saying ‘No’: Sometimes women are simply not firm enough. It is the right and privilege of every woman to say ‘NO’ to any man she doesn’t want the very first time. Actresses and models are exploited because they let themselves be exploited.

‘Kucch... Diiil Se’: Tulsi’s popularity has opened many doors for me. Tulsi has made it possible for women to open up to me in ‘Kucch... Diiil Se’. But I like to think that it is my sensitivity and awareness that helps. I have always been aware of the evils that exist in our society and have wanted to do something about them.

Through this show, I get the freedom to confront these issues and bring them out into the open. After all, even idealistic ‘bahus‘ have the right to wake up and fight for their rights!” Smriti in a nutshell: People might have made me into a heroine but I am only me, someone who lives her life according to the values she holds dear.

Smriti Irani spoke to Janhavi Samant